Kurt Cobain Launches Unique Line Of Zombie Shoes

Paul Daniels and David Blaine. What have they got in common? They're magic! They defy the powers of the world and cast illusions the likes we mere mortals have never seen.

From shitting out badgers to changing magic wands into flowers, they make Jesus’ trick of turning water in to wine look like nothing. But if you thought that was impressive, wait until you hear about something magical happening in the fashion world. No, models aren’t upping their dietary intake up to an apple and a Twix a day. Instead, the most unlikely of people is launching his own line of shoes. Everyone’s favourite dead rock star Kurt Cobain has somehow given his approval for Converse to whore out his name and make money off his back.

Great to know his anti-corporate values are still being respected then! 

It’s been a strange month for the deceased Nirvana frontman. Not so long ago £36 million had been taken from his account and a further amount used to buy a mansion in New Jersey. Whilst we all hoped that Kurt Cobain had defied the laws of possibility to come back and make more oh-so-happy songs about how shit the world is, it didn’t happen. Instead, pesky thieves had been rifling the money.  

To claw back the cash from this robbery, Kurt Cobain has kindly let Converse make trainers to be sold for sky-high prices under his name. NME reports: 

“The Nirvana frontman is to get a limited edition Converse shoe bearing his name, lyrics, writing and signature to mark the brand's 100th anniversary.”  

How he’ll be able to write his name is a wonder to us. Maybe there'll be a shoe-signing special of Most Haunted with Derek Acorah. What fun it could be to see Kurt Cobain come through a physic medium. All with a Scouse accent like 99.9% of all ghosts seem to be when they talk through Acorah. 

This isn't the first time that you have been able to walk like a dead man. Last year, Courtney Love got all pissy when Doc Martens used adverts that featured Cobain as an angel. Maybe she had a bad experience with Doc Martens in the past. Perhaps she got a blister once whilst wearing their clobber.

Everyone knows that Courtney Love would never sell the image of her ex to make some money! That would be daft. We just want a comfortable shoe with a dead celebrity’s cheesy grin on it. Soon, Adidas will be launching its own royal variety. You’ll be the coolest kid on the block sporting your own Princess Diana shoes or losing out to the rich kid who has secured his own pair of Henry VIII limited edition trainers in salmon pink. 

Read more: 

Kurt Cobain 'honoured' with signature trainer - NME