Kristen Stewart Would Like Everyone To Eff Off Now, Please

Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, New Moon, TwilightThere’s a good chance that Kristen Stewart is the most envied girl on the face of the planet right now.

Why? Just look at her. She doesn’t just get to kiss Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner all day long, but she actually gets paid to do it. No wonder Kristen Stewart recently topped an imaginary poll of stars who teenage girls would most like to secretly kill in order to dance around in a nightmarish suit made out of their skin.

And how does Kristen Stewart react to all this scrutiny of her private life? By telling the entire world to jolly well eff off, obviously.

This question of whether or not Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are doing it isn’t going away, is it? Believe the tabloids and they either are doing it, were doing it but stopped doing it – probably because Robert Pattinson smells like arses – or that they’re so completely in love that doing it has become a routine chore that stopped being exciting to either of them long ago. Believe Robert Pattinson and they definitely aren’t doing it.

Who are we supposed to trust here? Hang on, there’s one person who nobody has asked yet. Kristen Stewart. She’s famous for her forthright manner – and her slightly horse-shaped head, although that’s less relevant – so why doesn’t someone ask her what’s going on?

Funny you should ask, because Entertainment Weekly has done exactly that. And Kristen Stewart’s response?

“I probably would’ve answered it if people hadn’t made such a big deal about it. I know that people are really funny about ‘Well, you chose to be an actor, why don’t you just fucking give your whole life away? Can I have your firstborn child?’… Okay, we are. We aren’t. I’m a lesbian. I’m just trying to keep something. If people started asking me if I was dating Taylor, I’d be like ‘Fuck off!’”

So there you have it. Kristen Stewart is doing it with Robert Pattinson. And she’s not. And she’s a lesbian. So that’s that cleared up.

Really, though, we don’t know why Kristen Stewart can’t just be honest about everything. She should think of all the New Moon fans – if they don’t know whether or not she’s doing it with Robert Pattinson, then how will they know whether or not to scratch her face off all their New Moon merchandise with a mathematical compass and then write the word ‘BITCH!!!!!!’ underneath it in Tipp-Ex? It’s inconsiderate of Kristen Stewart, that’s what it is.

But, still, we suppose we can see her point. After all, it can’t be nice to see your personal life become public property like this. Especially not when it happens two weeks before the release of the new movie that also stars the man who you’ve been romantically linked with, and all you’re trying to do is promote the film in any way you possibly can. Yes, that must be awful.

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Comments

  1. The Dude says

    This chick is a head case. She’s not that good looking and a completely stuck up C*nt too! Just look at her in “The Panic Room”..I thought she was a boy! Get a grip you ho! Your 15 minutes is almost up and then you’ll still just be a skank!

  2. KStew Krew says

    All Kristen haters….EFF OFF and DIE. Can you say JEALOUS…yes that’s all you “skanks” out there wishing they had all she does, including Rob…so back at ya The DUDE (or is it the dud?)from above comment. Get a life and stop smashing these kids…

  3. KungxFu says

    Oh puh-lease, “Kstew Krew”. You only have to scroll up and read her Entertainment Weekly quote to be reminded of what a stuck-up brat she is.

    In a happier note: “She’s famous for her forthright manner – and her slightly horse-shaped head, although that’s less relevant – so why doesn’t someone ask her what’s going on?”
    Hahaha, quality :)

  4. Kasey says

    Ok clearly you don’t like Kristen. but you don’t understand her. She’s a nice person and an amazing actress but she sticks to her guns & i admire that. She’s such a strong person and she is who she is. She doesn’t fake it. & what she is saying here, yeah she may come off as a bitch but she’s getting her point across. Put yourself in her shoes..you don’t get followed around all day everyday by paparazzi with flashes in your face and people yelling “are you fucking Robert pattinson? What are your next movies? Are you a lesbian?, ect” Like no one can EVER give them a rest. She can’t leave her fucking hotel room. She loves being an actress and she’s not a fan of the whole hollywood lifestyle. Give her a break.

  5. says

    She has no right to be a b*tch. She is rich and famous while most people her age are unemployed, flipping burgers or going in debt for a useless degree from a mediocre college.

    If she is stuck in her hotel room that is her choice. She can go out with body guards…she has millions thanks to all the ticket sales. She chooses to be a martyr and to hang with Rob. Nobody would walk across the street to get this strange and hostile birl (half boy half girl) autograph for fear of their life. Her parading around Europe pretending to be a nice girl and dressing like one when inside she is a butch scary tomboy with no charm or grace was annoying. Does Summit think the fans are so forgetful? One can only asssume that a couple of dresses and smiles from Kristen are supposed to erase the year of crude remarks,strange, skanky appearance, spaced out behavior, insults to the fans from her.

    Kristen, whether gay or not, dating Rob or not should have been fired for her comments and unprofessional behavior. She has been the worst role mode for young teen fans of a beloved book series ever. Who raised this twit? Hollyweird liberals who should be ashamed of this revolting girl.

  6. bumcrumb says

    you people need to go out and buy yourselfs a new life if you have any money!!! ;)

  7. The Mush says

    Bumcrumbs,
    I agree, people should just get off this site and get on with their lives. These people on here have no life, probs no job, probs no love!
    And I bet that whereever Kristen Stewart is, she doesnt give a **** about any of you! x
    All my love,
    The Mush

  8. Gemmie xx says

    OMFG!!! Just leave her alone! She doesn’t deserve this!!!! She is an amazing actress, she is really nice and NOT STUCK UP!!!! I think she is amazing and no I would not scratch her face of all of my twilight merchendise!!!! SO F off!!!

  9. sprite says

    wtf? people who don’t share an obsession with someone you are obssesed with should die? and what exactly would i be jealous of i have no aspirations to act or be famous i don’t need need millions of dollars i have lived without it all my life although that may be nice to have. but if i were to be jealous over anyones financial it would be bill gates not kristen stewart. “get a life stom smashing these kids” are you an adult telling people they should die for having an opinion?

  10. says

    All of u guys need to leave kristen alone she not a bad person she just gets irratied by the paparzzi shes amazing in acting and shes beautiful .if she was doing it with robert pattinson then thats her personaliy buniesses if shes famous or not would u want people to know that I wouldnt.but she loves to act and I can see that but she just doesnt like people all up in her stuff.shes great so back off her its like she has enough things to worry about and now this.dont worry kristen im on your side no matter what u are not a bitch way so ever ur the best of the show in every movie u play in.and cant wait to c breaking daen part 2

  11. says

    All of u guys need to leave kristen alone she not a bad person she just gets irratied by the paparzzi shes amazing in acting and shes beautiful .if she was doing it with robert pattinson then thats her personaliy buniesses if shes famous or not would u want people to know that I wouldnt.but she loves to act and I can see that but she just doesnt like people all up in her stuff.shes great so back off her its like she has enough things to worry about and now this.dont worry kristen im on your side no matter what u are not a bitch way so ever ur the best of the show in every movie u play in.!!!!!!dont listen to these haters keep on doing wat u love best.

  12. alli says

    i agree with “Danny18?” and “KStew Krew” u all are jealous. if u hate her so much why do you even read articles about her or care to say these things about her. we all have different opinions but if you have the nerve to say these things about a person who never did anything to you then you seriously need to get a life and get some help. U call her a bitch because u know that ur really the bitch, “TruthTeller” AND “The Dude” effing haters. shut the f*ck up u bastards.