Kneel Before The World’s Smallest Condom. Not Literally
Look at this. It’s the world’s smallest condom. There are only ten of them in the entire world, and we’ve got one.
It’s a real, functioning condom, too – measuring 15mm x 3mm. We’ve only been told it works, though – sadly our penis measures 15mm x 4mm, so it’s far too small to actually use. But what are doing with the world’s smallest condom, exactly?
Glad you asked – it was commissioned by MTV UK and The Body Shop for the Staying Alive Foundation, on the back of research which reveals that 75% of 16-24 year olds have unprotected sex without thinking that they are at risk of contracting HIV and AIDS. With 24 people contracting HIV every day, it’s a worrying statistic.
For more information, visit www.yestosafesex.com or buy some of The Body Shop’s limited edition Tantalising Lip Butter, since £3.98 of each sale goes direct to Staying Alive. Only if you do either of those things will we allow you to make tiny penis jokes at us. You’re dying to, let’s not kid anyone here.
And now, for the sake of comparison, a photograph of the world’s smallest penis alongside the world’s biggest dick…
Tantalising Lip Butter..? Does that sound a little wrong to anyone else, or is it just me?
I think the name “Lip Butter” was crafted so it attracts the obese demographic.
“Hey, fatty! Now you can have butter balm! This is the kind you -DON’T- eat after putting on your lips, though! I Can’t Believe You’re Not Dead!”
“Tantalising Lip Butter.”
Well, it’s better than…uh, “Jiggling Cunt Fat,” for example. And you guys married to 45-plus-year-old women know what I’m talking about.