KISS Still Too Crap For Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame

Kiss, Gene Simmons, Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, Abba, Genesis, Phil CollinsThe Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame is, as everyone knows, a hallowed place reserved only for those who rock the hardest.

You know, like Abba. And Genesis. Those cats are responsible for more melted speakers and blown minds than you could ever hope to count. Why, remember the time when Phil Collins bit the head off a Yorkshire terrier during the second chorus of I Can’t Dance onstage that time? Or when the beardy one out of Abba broke away from the middle eight of Dancing Queen to carve the word ‘HATE’ into his bare chest with a broken jam jar?

That’s why both Genesis and Abba will be inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame next year. And that’s why KISS won’t be, the cat-faced bellends.

On the face of it, KISS have done more for the cause of rock and roll than any other band on the planet. They wanted to rock and roll all nite to such an extent that they couldn’t even find the time to go to school to learn how to spell the word ‘night’ properly. They believed that God gave rock and roll to us, when in reality he’s only really responsible for Jesus and pestilence. They pledged allegiance to the state of rock and roll, even though rock and roll isn’t even a congressional district, let alone a state. That‘s how much KISS love rock and roll.

Everything that the members of KISS have ever done, solo or as a band, has been done with end goal of being inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame. Everything. The tongue waggling. The stupid facepaint. The deliberately bad hair. The genuinely harrowing sex tapes. The awful songs that all mentioned rock and roll every three lines. That world’s worst cover version of Firestarter. So they must be pretty arsed off that they were beaten to the punch by Abba and Phil Collins this year. The Boston Herald reports:

The Rock Hall announced its class of 2010: prog-rockers Genesis, Swedish disco stars ABBA, prepunk punks the Stooges, reggae hero Jimmy Cliff and British Invasion band the Hollies… ?There are disco bands, rap bands, Yiddish folk-song bands in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but not KISS,? [Gene] Simmons griped last year. ?I believe we have more gold records in America than any other group, but it?s OK.?

Still, it doesn’t matter what Gene Simmons thinks. All we know is that next year’s Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame ceremony is going to be the best ever. An old reggae man, a topless rocker whose body looks like a condom full of eels, a band that nobody cares about, some Swedish billionaires and Peter Gabriel done up like a poxy tulip – what more could you possibly ask for?

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  1. Pierre Norris says

    There’s nothing more to say, we should all boycott the Rock N’ Roll Hall Of Fame and never pay attention to what they say, because they’re full of sh*t and don’t know what’s real rock n’ roll. I wonder who’s the idiot who decided to include ABBA. And the worst is that the selection committee agreed! ABBA isn’t even a rock band, it’s a disco band. It’s like inducting Michael Jordan in the Hockey Hall Of Fame.

  2. Tony says

    I don`t care what they say.KISS rocks!!I just saw them in 2009 & it was their best ever.I don`t see ABBA or Phil Collins doing ANYTHING this year.ABBA last played in 1983-just what have they contributed in the name of RocknRoll?

  3. Fabian says

    Oh get over it. Those who deny ABBA their contributions to music in general are the fools. Let me let you all in on a little secret, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is not only about ROCK AND ROLL. List all of the artists inducted and many are not considered rock by ANY stretch of the imagination and anyone who has ever listened to an ABBA original record (not just the hits) will know they covered all genres of music including ROCK and if you ever listen to their live versions of some of their songs, DISCO is not a word used to decribe them. Try listening to their live version of ON AND ON AND ON, EAGLE, SUMMER NIGHT CITY and HOLE IN YOUR SOUL. This group had accomplished vocalists as well as musicians and they rocked harder than most rock bands in a concert format.

    When a group such as ABBA has world famous orchestras covering their tunes and are able to close in on the generation gap and have artists of all walks of life, including heavy metal artists, state on record their music is grand and have sold 400 millions records, their induction is more than justified. Time to get over it already and KISS will get their dues when it’s their time.

  4. Frizz says

    I can totally understand why the Rock N Roll Hall Of Fame is rejecting them. The show itself is great but their music & musicianship has always been mediocre at best. They look great on stage, they have the most amazing marketing that I have ever seen but the band does not deliver the music.

  5. craig says

    Kiss deserves to be inducted along with other established rock acts like Deep Purple, Rush, Iron Maiden, Journey, Bon Jovi and Def Leppard. It’s time actual rock bands get their recognition.

  6. shooty* says

    I for one think that if they had got a decent looking drummer, they’d have made it years ago. I mean, seriously: You got your demon, your starchild, your… other one, and Peter Criss looking like some punt kitten. He spoilt the whole thing. If he’s looked like The Crow, or something, then POW, rock and roll hall of fame probably even before they’d played a note.

    The other point, hwoever, is that with the possible exception of Crazy, crazy nights, they’re sh1te.

  7. shooty* says

    PUNY kitten. Puny. sorry.

    What IS it with hair metal bands who get drummers that don’t fit the image of the rest of the band? Seriously? See also: Steven Adler. Should have been in Poison, not Guns N Roses. He was clearly far to gormless and glam for GNR. The two exceptions to this rule are Vikki Foxx from Enuff Z’Nuff, and Ricki Rockett from Poison itself, obviously. And this is confined to Hair metal/ poodle rock. When you get to grunge, all the drummers look right in their bands.

  8. Tony says

    The name is still “Rockn`Roll”Hall of Fame-which ABBA & other inductees do not fall into.Maybe it should be called Music`s Hall of Fame.Doesn`t sound as cool but more realistic.Deep Purple,Rush,Iron Maiden,Journey,Bon Jovi& Def Leppard also should be included.After all-Judas Priest made it.JOO_PREE!!!

  9. Kevin says

    No matter if you love or hate the music of KISS does not matter!! They have the most Gold records than any musical act ever!! How can U say that is not worthy?? They should have been inducted in 1999!! KISS has been going non-stop for almost 36 years and still pack arenas and even stadiums around the entire world.Do you really think Jimmy Cliff(who nobody ever even heard of), The Stooges or even The Hollies could pack a major arena in 2010?? I think not…KISS still does and has been for almost 36 years!! IT is very sad!!! The rock & roll hall of fame without KISS is like the Baseball hall of fame without Babe Ruth:o)

  10. sean cormier says

    with a name like Stuart Heritage (induction to the stupid names category) and horrible writing talent (review) why should your dumb opinion and blog mean anything.

    KISS is the best.(period)

  11. Dan says

    You wanna talk about mediocre musicianship? Look at The Ramones. Johnny admits their musicianship is poor, that didn’t stop them.

  12. says

    jann wenner can go to hell. the progressive robin hood marxism that has taken hold of american politics has gone much deeper then many think. these days it’s called re-distribution of wealth and i call it re-writing of history.

    problem is the douche bags running the liberalized rock and roll hall of fame {shame}* are politically correcting our future by denying and erasing our past. the rap music industry has been actively assisting this as well as the many corporate big shots and folks who have an agenda as opposed to the truth and the facts.

    like people my age [46] can’t remember our own past… not all of us were drunk, drugged up or high enough to have forgotten or to allow our generation of rock and roll to be disrespected this way.

    our music industry has been hijacked by corporate whores… they promote the trendy of the day like madonna and brittany spears. as they do this they also systematically have been erasing rock and roll from the books…

    the 70’s classic rock era and the 80’s metal/hard rock genres brought the world some of the most talented and the greatest rock musicians of all time. for a 20 year period we grew up listening to the best music ever produced. imo.

    growing up in the 70’s listening to bands like kiss, black sabbath, boston, aerosmith, ted nugent and bad company was a great time. rock and roll was getting pissed off and it had opened the door for some of the greatest songs and bands ever.

    we should not allow the folks over at the rock and roll hall; of fame to get away with this. they are sweeping us under the rug and by calling people like ‘madonna’ rock and roll to me is blasphemous.

    i hope to see true rock and roll fans boycott the rock and roll hall of shame.

    the problem is bigger then most of us realize. the state of ohio is in sad shape… the music scene there is loaded with copy cats, bands with no direction. the rock and roll hall of fame is even doing some ‘cleveland rocks’ type song contest and they sponsor this event to generate publicity but as one can see by a little research they are trying to steal from us…

    example being there is a band calling themselves sister morphine that has submitted a song for the ‘cleveland rocks’ contest. first, sister morphine is defunct. why is the rock and roll hall of fame allowing these impostors to use that name knowing full well they are NOT sister morphine?

    the real sister morphine was a band from the twin cities (minnesota) during the mid to late 80’s… so even though the rock and roll hall of fame was notified they are using a name they have no right using… they have not disqualified said impostors. the scene in cleveland is loaded with copy cat wanna be musicians who are grasping at anything they can to generate attention for themselves even if they steal another bands name.

    i counted at least 15 to 20 bands in the cleveland area who are using names that were established before most of these so called musicians were even born. that’s how bad it’s gotten down there… they are begging for an audience but most of the rock clubs in cleveland are too dangerous to want to attend. shootings, beatings and attacks are common place and are expected. the detroit bar scene was pretty scary too in the late 80’s to early 90’s many clubs are sadly long gone…

    inner city thugs, shootings, beatings, robberies and the like were pretty common place all through the metro detroit area… an example would be harpos concert theatre (easily the most dangerous club in the midwest) where many patrons and rock fans have been attacked robbed, beaten and murdered.

    ghetto culture thank you very much.

    welcome to our marxist living hell. our system is under attack, our past, future and any success is the target… erase, deny, manipulate and distort. basically they are removing our history and allowing the youth and the current industry trends to take over and dictate what it the truth of the future.

    we are living in the era of ‘robin hood’. take from the big bad rich guy to give to the poor loser who has no intentions of success or how to obtain it.

    ladies and gentlemen you have now been introduced to ‘communism’. the liberal left has moved to the far left and are now defined as ‘progressive’. this problem has not only infected and diseased our daily lives and our politics as well as our media but now they are in full erase mode and are removing or re-distributing our history and the truth.

    so in short we need to boycott, ban and deny the folks at the rock and roll hall of shame as well as rolling stone magazine.

    if you are a rock and roll fan and you’ve no doubt supported it you need to “shout it out loud” and let the world know you do not support them and if kiss or any other band gets a chance to tell them, to “shove it.” we don’t need them. they are assisting in denying our musical past and twisting it into some liberal mind melt without our permission while they snub us, poke us in the eye and disrespect our youth and our generation. we’ve had enough.

    political correctness has nothing to do with rock and roll. ’nuff said.

  13. Phil says

    Look, I just saw Kiss in 2009 and they were great. And they don’t suck, I’m curious have you ever written a song as good and catchy as Rock and roll all nite, Detroit Rock City, Beth, Shout it out loud, Cold Gin, strutter, deuce, calling dr. love, love gun, christeen sixteen, I stole your love, hard luck woman, hotter than hell, Heavens on fire, lick it up, god of thunder, Black diamond, got to choose, c’mon and love me, I love it loud, modern day deliah, Shock me, etc. They were and are great, people jsut complain about them because they wore makeup as a gimick and sold caskets, big deal, it’s still great rock and roll, and they put on the best show in rock. And about rock and roll hall of fame not being for rock and roll, well then maybe they should have called it the music hall of fame then you idiot.

  14. Robert says

    The fact you state they have mediocre musicians is laughable.

    1. The Ramones and the SEX PISTOLS are in the hall of fame

    2. Paul Stanley is a great singer, ask Sarah Brightman why she chose him to be on her latest album. Or why he was featured in the Phantom of the Opera. That aside listen to Alive IV, the man has a head voice with truly phenomenal power.

    3. Vinnie Vincent, Eric Singer, Eric Carr, and Bruce Kulick(the last 2 serving longer than the members they replaced) are great musicians.

    4. Two words, Bob Dylan, lyrics aside, he’s a terrible musician. He’s a sub par guitarist and a HORRIBLE singer.

    5. AC/DC is in the Hall of Fame, you’re talking about a band who released the same album for over 30 years, don’t take it from me Angus Young even ADMITS it.(if you retort that KISS does the same you’re ignorant, listen to Hotter than Hell then listen to Revenge and tell me they are the same album, if you do you must be tone deaf or just arrogant)

    People like you are the reason the hall of fame isn’t taken seriously. You take bands for face value when they aren’t adored by Rolling Stone. Speaking of Rolling Stone, take a look at who actually has the final say in the Hall of Fame, most if not all aren’t EVEN MUSICIANS. It’s populated with people who work for or have worked for Rolling Stone, the place is just an outlet for elitists not truly subjective people.

    The fact remains, KISS put forth some very influential music in the realm of heavy metal and hard rock. Many of the greats in metal cite them as a major influence. Dimebag Darrell, Sebastian Bach, Kirk Hammett, even internationally such as X Japan and this is just off of the top of my head. Not to mention the 80s wave of heavy metal itself was almost directly influenced by them.

    The Hall of Fame doesn’t want them in because they don’t want to be a vehicle for Gene’s marketing, which I get. They also don’t want to do it because ignorant snobs wouldn’t want to give KISS their dues. Lastly, it may piss off Rolling Stone readers since it isn’t one of the bands featured on their ‘lists’. If I listed the bands that did less for rock than KISS did it would possibly double the size of my reply. If you want to be accurate, you must add KISS.

  15. Adam says

    Here i am down in Adelaide South Australia and have just read the best comments I have ever read about KISS….yours. Well done and always keep the pressure. I love the band and am just happy to see a great show when they venture down our way. I am always happy when we get some new music from them too. Yes Gene’s over the top marketing can get on the nerves and re-releases of re-releases, but this band is the only Rock band I’ve ever been passionate about.
    Well done.

  16. Beth says

    Excellent post, well done. It is unfortunate that even a hall of fame (of any type) should be so political, so overwhelmingly opinionated. KISS has more platinum plus releases than any other band and their induction is merited by their accomplishments. I have cancelled my subscription to Rolling Stone and don’t even bother to read anything by their politically opinionated writers.

  17. Avery says

    Pete Rose has a better chance to be a member the Baseball hall of fame then Kiss in the R&R HOF. Kiss had some catchy songs I will admit that much, but Kiss is a joke. I thought so in 1974 as a Teenager and still do. The Bealtes, Stones and Ramones. Best three groups ever. Kiss are joke. Back in the day the idiots liked Kiss.

  18. Don says

    I don’t care what everybody or the rock and roll hall of fame say’s. i like kiss even if no one else likes them in the whole wide world i would be their last and only fan then so be it !!!!!!!!!!!!!