Kirstie Alley Takes Off Most of Her Clothes For Some Reason

Kirstie Alley Bikini Oprah Fat Weight LossChances are you haven't cared or thought about Kirstie Alley for upwards of half a decade but – by God – that hasn't stopped her strutting about in a bikini on Oprah like your terrifying old auntie does when she's had a drink.

Why has 55-year-old Kirstie Alley decided that 2006 – 13 years after Cheers finished and 17 years since she made Look Who's Talking – was the right time to go on Oprah and take most of her clothes off? Simple – it's because Kirstie Alley isn't quite as fat as she used to be. And for that reason alone, Kirstie Alley chose to go and see Oprah Winfrey while dressed in a bikini. Kirstie Alley better not have given Oprah Winfrey any ideas by doing this, since at the rate that Oprah Winfrey gains and loses weight, Oprah would end up presenting every fourth episode in a bikini, and that's something that's best left not thought about.

Kirstie Alley hasn't really been properly famous for a very long time, except for with people who think that staying up until 3am to watch her awful late-nineties sitcom Veronica's Closet on ITV is anything other than a ridiculous waste of bloody time, that is. Kirstie Alley hasn't been famous for doing much – other than wishing out loud for a needless Look Who's Talking remake and becoming the world's least thought-about Scientologist, but she has been half-famous for being really really exceptionally fat. That's not us being cruel, that's a statement of fact. Last year saw the awful Curb Your Enthusiasm rip-off sitcom Fat Actress, starring Kirstie Alley as an actress who was fat. And if Kirstie Alley can call herself fat then we can too. And so can you. Try it, it's fun.

But despite all the "Look at me! I'm so fat! But also fairly happy!" headlines that Kirstie Alley's podgy look inspired, there was a slightly skinnier woman inside Kirstie Alley all along, just waiting to get out. And 45 burritos. And probably all kinds of half-chewed steak clinging onto her colon for dear life. And stuff. For when Kirstie Alley went on Oprah last year she weighed close to 100kg and was apparently – according to the NY Post – tucking away 8,000 calories, "washing down heaps of Mexican food with a dozen grape sodas." And last year Kirstie Alley went on Oprah to say that in one year she'd lose enough weight to return in a bikini, adding:

"You know how I said every 15 pounds I have to challenge myself? … I'm thinking this would be a really good challenge. If I don't make it, I'm really sorry. You can all come over to my house and see me in a bikini." 

And never say that Oprah doesn't make dreams come true. While these dreams usually involve jumping on furniture or blaming the media for all kinds of nonsense or being condescending to the poor, this time Oprah's dream-making skills were used to make Kirstie Alley walk up and down a stage in a bikini while Brick House played in the background. Kirstie Alley had lost 34kg and she had this to say to Oprah:

"We can decide to change anything, at any age… I don't think [women] ever feel like we're good enough. We don't feel like we're thin enough or pretty enough or smart enough or work hard enough. And we are good enough."

But, um, only if you're quite thin? Is that what you're trying to say Kirstie? Because if you thought that last year you wouldn't have had to lose so much weight and we wouldn't have had to see a 55-year-old woman in a bikini when we were trying to eat our dinner.

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  1. Rick says

    Kirstie alley can take her clothes off anytime she likes. She may not be as young as some would like but I think she’s hot. She’s a real sized woman in a world where she is under-appreciated.

  2. El Mentalista says

    Sigue siendo la mas Guapa, Me encanta !
    Quisiera ser Caramelo para derretirme en tus Labios !

  3. greathorizon says

    Why are people so obsessed with weight???
    You can be beautiful no matter what weight you have. There are thin people who do not shine, although, they are thin and there are larger people who do shine, although, they are heavy. Beauty comes from the heart and soul and if you do not let these two shine from inside out then you can be the thinnest person but still have a pour aura. I am a slim woman and I think Kirstie is absolutely gorgeous!
    I can only give her one advice……
    Stop worrying about food, calories and diets. Eat one warm home-cooked meal a day combined with other healthy favorites and have yourself some cake also… you satisfied with what you eat and you will see your weight will regulate itself in time.
    Sending love

  4. robert says

    Kirstie has always been a dynamically beautiful woman, and this shows she is impressively shapely … as has always been apparent. there is nothing more desirable physically then a shapely, beautiful woman !!!