In a couple of weeks, Spider-Man 3 will be released to a slavering global audience eager to discover what happens to Spider-Man when his suit goes black and that big monster made out of sand sort of chases him around for a bit.

And since Spider-Man 3 has a lot to live up to – both preceding Spider-Man movies are in the top ten highest-grossing films ever – no expense has been spared in selling Spider-Man 3 to people around the world in one of the blazingest promotional events ever, by which we mean ‘letting Kirsten Dunst tell journalists that she doesn’t want to make Spider-Man 4 and that Spider-Man 4 would be shit if she wasn’t in it’.