In a couple of weeks, Spider-Man 3 will be released to a slavering global audience eager to discover what happens to Spider-Man when his suit goes black and that big monster made out of sand sort of chases him around for a bit.
And since Spider-Man 3 has a lot to live up to – both preceding Spider-Man movies are in the top ten highest-grossing films ever – no expense has been spared in selling Spider-Man 3 to people around the world in one of the blazingest promotional events ever, by which we mean 'letting Kirsten Dunst tell journalists that she doesn't want to make Spider-Man 4 and that Spider-Man 4 would be shit if she wasn't in it'.
When it comes to movie promotion, there's one undisputed king – Tom Cruise, a man who times his entire life around the release dates of his movies – getting engaged when one comes out and having a baby when another one comes out. And further down the line there's Halle Berry, whose tactics include getting a Hollywood star and fondly reminiscing about the time she tried murdering herself when she has a new film released.
And then way down the line – way, way down the line – there's Kirsten Dunst, who just seems kind of resentful that she even makes films in the first place. Lately Kirsten Dunst has been too busy hanging around with the twat out of Razorlight to concentrate on anything to do with Spider-Man 3 – co-starring that bloke from Babe and her out of The Village – and has even toyed with giving up acting altogether. And if that happened, there'd be no Kirsten Dunst in Spider-Man 4.
Previously there were rumours that more Spider-Man movies would be made after Spider-Man 3, but now that director Sam Raimi keeps getting linked to the Peter Jackson-less Hobbit movie that's looking more and more unlikely. And anyway, as Kirsten Dunst told Entertainment Weekly, she doesn't want to be in Spider-Man 4 either, and who'd go and see a Dunstless Spider-Man 4?
"Audiences aren't stupid. It'd be a big flop without me, Tobey, or Sam. That would really not be the smartest move. But they know that already. [Sony chief] Amy Pascal would never do that." … Sony's President of Production Matt Tolmach tells EW that the studio is cautiously optimistic about retaining the team that launched the Spidey franchise so spectacularly: "Listen, we're making Spider-Man 4. Our hope, dream, and intention is to do it with Sam. But I don't have a crystal ball."
Good for Kirsten Dunst, who has momentarily snapped out of her alcohol-fuelled stupor to finally say something important. Kirsten Dunst is the Spider-Man movies to all intents and purposes, and we honestly can't imagine anyone going to see another exciting, expensive blockbuster Spider-Man movie if there wasn't an annoying wonky-toothed ginger girl in it anywhere.
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Viking Lumberjack says
We were annoyed with her enough as it was, what with whining that “acting is too hard”. Yeah, working for a few months and being paid millions while everyone fawns all over you sounds pretty rough. And now she’s saying that a whole franchise would be shit without her? Has she ever heard of James Bond perhaps?
At this point, I’d be more likely to see Spider Man 4 if it DIDN’T have the perpetually self-obsessed whiner in it. We’ll hopefully not hear about her for the next 20 years, when she finally arises in passing like a female version of Scott Baio.
april says
It doesn’t matter if she were in the next spider-man movie because she wasn’t even the important star, i was toby all along.
areyou kiddingme? says
Are you guys kidding me??? did you even read the qoute??? All she said was that the movie would not be the same without her, tobey, and sam. There is no denying changing the lead actors and director will make a difference. Not once did she soley say that “Spiderman is nothing without me” Christ, cut the girl some slack already. What a cheap way to make a quick buck off a pointless article. congrats.
What a load of crap says
I love how these journalists twist words around to make things sound like they are said differently. To quote the quote, what Kirsten said was:
“Audiences aren’t stupid. It’d be a big flop without me, Tobey, or Sam. That would really not be the smartest move…”
Specifically, the title of this article should read:
Spiderman 4 would be a big flop without Kirsten, Tobey, and Sam”.
It just makes the writer sound so unintelligible. But then again opinions are like a$$holes. Everybody has one.