You know, this morning we suddenly thought "What if all this psychiatric treatment makes Britney Spears normal again? Will our stockpiled pithy wisecracks go to waste?"
And then we discovered that Kirsten Dunst is apparently on the verge of a giant Britney-style nervous breakdown.
It's the cosmic balance in action. Britney gets better, Kirsten Dunst goes a bit batshit. By God, Vanessa Hudgens must be praying that Kirsten Dunst never gets better.
Scientists and physicians have spent centuries trying to get the bottom of mental illness by studying the various ticks and traits that add towards an accurate diagnosis. But they missed one very obvious symptom – if you ever find Johnny Borrell from Razorlight even slightly attractive, then you're clearly as loopy-doolally batshit cuckoo as they come.
Kirsten Dunst was once Johnny Borrell's girlfriend. So, you know, already it's not looking great for the girl.
And now it seems that the repressed psychological wounds that come from having a boyfriend who prances around in a pair of his mum's white jeans all day have started to kick back. It's been reported that Kirsten Dunst looks set to become the next celebrity to have a full-on wibbling breakdown. PageSix reports:
Kirsten Dunst's strange ways have tongues wagging that she's "on the verge of a breakdown." The starlet came late, left early and "acted erratic" during a recent event at Sundance, according to insiders. The source added that friends of the actress made apologies on her behalf, saying, "Kirsten is not in a good place right now."
Well, obviously Kirsten Dunst wasn't in a good place if she was in Utah. She was at a place where midgets attack cars, for crying out loud. But as for her frame of mind, who knows? The Sundance appearance was Kirsten Dunst's first appearance for a number of weeks, so nobody is sure if her behaviour was genuinely worrying or just a spot of moviestar dickery in action.
Although Kirsten Dunst's representatives have claimed that she's not mad or heading for a breakdown, she's definitely raised eyebrows in the past. Just last year Kirsten was threatening to quit acting because some people didn't like a film she was in. While that sort of hyper-sensitivity makes us think that Kirsten Dunst could be a likely target for a breakdown, you shouldn't really equate making badly-received films with emotional breakdowns.
Because if you did, Jessica Alba would be the maddest bastard on the whole effing planet.
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