Boy oh boy! Kim Kardashian has posed naked and unretouched for Harper’s Bazaar magazine! Kim Kardashian naked?
Oh boy! We literally have no idea what that would look like! Particularly because Kim Kardashian has never appeared naked and untouched ever before in any medium ever! If only Kim Kardashian had previously appeared naked and untouched, perhaps in a homemade sex tape where she gets graphically violated again and again by a man who’s got a tongue that flaps around like an unattended fire hose, completely naked, on camera, where the entire internet can watch it whenever it wants to, we’d have some sort of reference point for a news story of this staggering magnitude.
But sadly, because that never happened, we’re completely at a loss about how to tell you that Kim Kardashian has taken all of clothes off. Sorry readers.
Kim Kardashian may not be talented in the traditional sense, but she doesn’t need to be. That’s because Kim Kardashian has youthful good looks – and science has proven that youthful good looks last forever. Even though she can’t sing or dance or act or excel in any kind of ability that you usually need to become famous, Kim Kardashian will always keep people interested in her with her physical appearance. The trick is not to show it all off at once by, for example, filming herself getting bonked from behind by a serpent-tongued narcissist and then uploading it onto the internet.
Whoops.
Still, even though everyone with an internet connection has seen so much of her bare flesh that they could draw a gynaecologically-accurate pencil sketch of her genitals from memory, Kim Kardashian has nevertheless decided to strip off yet again, this time for Harper’s Bazaar. EW reports:
These nude Harper?s shots of Kardashian, Parenthood?s Joy Bryant, and British actress-photographer Amanda de Cadenet?are being touted as ?unretouched.??If you remember, Jessica Simpson did a?makeup- and retouch-free Marie Claire spread, which hit the Internet last week. So do we have a retouch-free trend on our hands?
Yeah, brilliant, nice one Jessica Simpson. All because you decided to let someone take a photo of you without it being Photoshopped to high heaven afterwards, now everyone’s going to jump on this craze for unretouched photography. Britney Spears has already done it, and now so has Kim Kardashian. What happens from here? What if magazines stop giving Keira Knightley breasts? What if Victoria Beckham decides to go unretouched? Will we even know who she is? Well, will we?
But let’s look on the bright side here. No matter how silly this fad gets, at least we can reassure ourselves with one thing – that Kim Kardashian has decided to be photographed now rather than later, after her monobrow has grown back in.
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Kardashian White Smile says
Looking good is her talent and she needs to milk now while she can.