Thanks to the miraculous inventions that are the home video camera and the internet, there’s literally no one left on planet Earth wondering what Kim Kardashian’s naked torso looks like.?
But Kanye West’s going to make damn sure that we, the viewing public, can never forget the fact that he’s engaged to a girl with massive hooters. He’s not doing this through a sex tape – that’s so 2007 – but by getting his beloved fiancee to strip off and straddle a motorcycle in front of a green screen. Just one more thing that little North can look forward to being passed around the playground in a few years.
The Kim Kardashian-laced video for ‘Bound 2’ was released on Ellen this week and it’s more awkward than you’re imagining.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPTZ01Tq_6w
I don’t know whether it says more about him or myself that the first thirty seconds looked like it was about to introduce Kanye’s presidential campaign and I totally went along with it. All that was missing was a close up of an American flag and Kanye leaning on a white picket fence, looking all patriotic, ?while a bald eagle soars overhead.
Let’s say that this was a West 2016 presidential bid. Because the world is boring, and this makes everything more fun. West has decided to gun for the ‘horny and alone’ vote by having his better half reclining on a motorbike and jiggle in a way that suggests there might well be Kimbryo 2.0 on the horizon.
Rival Hillary Clinton is said to be furious, because she was actually planning on turning up to the first presidential debate on the back of a motorcycle, wearing nothing but Uncle Sam’s top hat.
There’s nothing more about the video that’s worth your precious attention. Just some close up shots of Kim’s face looking mysterious, and some more slightly awkward straddling. Sorry pervs, there’s not even a hint of nipple for you to strategically pause on.
So there we are. I can say with some confidence that this is the only place on the internet that you can read about Kim Kardashian’s nipples and Hillary Clinton’s political career in the same article.