It’s all go with the Kardashian sisters! Khloe Kardashian got married, Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant and, um…
Wait, there was another one. Oh, what was her name? Karen Kardashian? No, that’s not it. Kolin Kardashian? That’s not it either. Oh, Kim! That’s it! Kim Kardashian! Wow, we have to say that it’s incredibly gracious of Kim Kardashian to remain in the background like this while her two sisters have their moment in the spotlight.
What’s that? Kim Kardashian has decided to get back with her old boyfriend Reggie Bush? Because she loves him, and not just because she’s a giant attention whore? Oh, OK.
Now, look. We’re as surprised as you are that Khloe Kardashian’s wedding is still in the news almost a full week after it was announced. Because, seriously, if Khloe Kardashian walked up to us tomorrow to introduce herself, we’d have trouble knowing who she actually was. And there isn’t a hope in hell that we’d remember what her husband’s name was, unless we’d pre-emptively scrawled it on our hand first. Which we wouldn’t have done, because we don’t know who he is either.
But the good news is that we’re not alone. Kim Kardashian also seems fairly stunned that her sister’s shotgun wedding to a man she’s know for just over a month counts as legitimate news. Because Kim Kardashian knows how it works. Yes, she’s willing to step back to allow her sisters time in the limelight for a moment or two, but only because she knows that when she decides to go outside with her arse hanging out, or when she decides to release an internet video of her jamming her tongue into a stranger’s face in the nude, she’ll be the famous one again.
But this time, none of that has happened. Kim Kardashian is still currently the third most famous Kardashian sister. And, in completely unrelated news, Kim Kardashian has decided to get back with her famous ex-boyfriend Reggie Bush. What a strange and unexpected coincidence. People reports:
“They’re totally back together for real,” says a source close to the couple. “Kim and Reggie spent a few months apart getting their priorities together and figuring out who they were as individuals so they can make it work together.”
If we allow the cynic in us to emerge for once, it does sort of look like Kim Kardashian could have done this for publicity. Because now she can return to the glory days of when she and Reggie Bush could make the headlines for arguing about fur or wearing a wig and pretending it was their real hair. Oh, those were the days alright.
But, no, that’s wrong of us. Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush are totally back together for real, and their love for one another is as pure and real as it has ever been, and we’re sure that they’ll both go on to make hundreds of lurid and surprisingly bored-looking internet porno movies together. God bless, you two.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter