Kim Kardashian Is Bigger Than Michael Jackson On The Internet

Let?s face it, if either Kim Kardashian or Michael Jackson came running at you down the street, you?d make a run for it wouldn?t you? Kim Kardashian would be screeching all sorts of excessive sexual demands at you whilst tearing off her clothes and as for Michael Jackson?

He?d be busting a few zombie like dance moves whilst prodding his rotting genitals.
There are varying areas when it comes as to who is bigger.

In the breast department, Kim Kardashian is a clear winner. Thanks to her sex tape, we?ve seen more than we really bargained for. They?ve been involved with the law to. Kardashian again for suing Vivid Entertainment for that bongo film. However, Michael Jackson wins hands down for his multiple court trips after being accused of doing rude stuff to children. But Kim Kardashian can claim another victory when it comes to erm?being searched through the search engine Bing. What were you expecting?

Apparently there are other search engines out there apart from Google and Bing is one of them. Personally, we choose not to use it as Bing doesn?t update itself with hilarious graphics which spell out its own name. Until Bing has a logo made out of Christmas fairy lights, we?ll stick to what we know best.

So, what?s a good way of generating instant publicity? Getting a divorce? Making edgy comments? How about releasing a new album full of original material that isn?t just polished demo recordings? Nope, forget all that. The best way is to die in mysterious circumstances.

Everyone knows Michael Jackson was the definition of clean health and never had a problem in his life. Apart from the flaming hair situation, multiple times under the plastic surgeons knife, relying on oxygen masks and wheelchairs all whilst being hooked on prescription drugs.

Basically, when he died, the internet went mental, causing servers to meltdown due to our greedy nature of wanting to know every minute detail. Was he wearing a sparkly glove when he kicked it? Had he had his daily dose of Jesus Juice?


Now the hysteria has died down; other people are racing up the most searched chance. Before you ask, you?re not in the top ten, or even in the top thousand for that matter. Even if you searched yourself on a daily basis, breaking in to the top million would be a challenge.

Apparently, amongst the top five searched famous people are Sandra Bullock, Tiger Woods, Lady GaGa and Barack Obama.

No real surprises there. However it has given inspired us to mirror the actions of the above people so we can appear on the 2011 most searched list. How hard can it be for us to raise an adopted child as a single parent, fall from stardom at golf, reinvent music with catchy pop songs and wonky fashion all whilst governing a country?

Actually, quite challenging now we think about. We?ll stick to what we know. Which isn?t much.

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  1. Brandon says

    Michael Jackson is the only ONE real and true GLOBAL Icon!!!
    He was in show-business since the age of 5, and he is the most successful music entertainer in modern history.
    He has sold more albums than any other solo artist and his album THRILLER has been the best selling album of all time for 25 years – 70 millions sold copies.
    He has won and got more awards and appreciations (not only for music) than any other person/artist on this planet.
    He is more popular and known than any other artist on ALL continents, including countries like India, China, Pakistan, Iraq, Iran, and all African countries…, and he has the biggest fan base in the world.
    He was, but in fact, he still is the media

  2. says

    It’s pretty ridiculous that Kim Kardashian’s name is even being used in the same sentance with the name Michael Jackson! There is a reason why the whole world stopped to see if they were seeing and hearing correctly the day that Michael Jackson died. That news DID cause servers to melt down, and the internet to go mental. The reason is because Michael had something called TALENT!! Say what you want about him (and I’m sure you will), but MJ was an amazing and extraordinary performer, ALWAYS entertaining, and was a gifted and creative song writer with a heart of gold. He worked hard over the years to earn the love and respect he gets from all of his true and loyal fans. Now Kim who, did what??? She’s pretty, I’ll give her that, but what is her talent? Never mind, I think I can answer that myself.

  3. says

    JESUS, please take the wheel, put your foot on the gas, and get us the f-out of here. I can’t take it!! A porn star turned…wtfever…is dominating the internet? I want to DIE.

  4. glorious says

    Thank you . you make me understand and love MJ all the more.One of his songs says “half you’ll never be” how very true! sad if you channelled that vernom to good works you will move mountains

  5. glorious says

    thank you. You make me understand and love MJ more. In one of his songs he sings “half of me you’ll never be” how very true! If you channelled all that vernom to good works -you will move mountains

  6. WTF says

    Can someone tell me WHAT AND WHY the Kardashians are so popular? What do they do besides preen for themselves, drink, and screw anything that may have a pulse? And could one of the enlightened Jackson fans explain why none of them can apparently spell, make complete sentences, or for that matter make any sense at all? He’s dead, get off him (that may be a little difficult to accomplish for Kim Kardashian as she apparently does not have the standard of “must have pulse to screw”), get over it, genuflec and drool over someone else for a change. I see Justin Beiber is limp enough, should be right up your, ahem, alleys.

  7. Shelese says

    Matthew Laidlow, please get a life. You speaking about Michael Jackson in that manner, tells us all more about you than it does about Michael. The man is dead…can you respect that? I guess not, cause you’re too busy swinging from his rotting genitals right? You are sick…and you may think so what, it’s just Michael Jackson, who cares…but oh best believe…Karma is a bitch.

  8. says

    In what world is the phrase “rotting genitals” when speaking of some who’s passed acceptable?

    Michael Jackson = King of Pop

    Kim Kardashian = slut

    Matthew Laidlow = nothing

    So….who’s more important?

  9. sc341 says

    Kim Kardashian is famous for what exactly? Her deceased father Robert Kardashian defended OJ in his murder trial….

    Apparently it doesn’t take much to become famous nowadays. You don’t need to have any sort of talent, just notoriety.

    At least Michael Jackson had amazing singing and dancing talent. You seemed to forget that in your article.

    Here is a video of him singing at age 10 (NO AUTO TUNE NEEDED!!)

    MICHAEL JACKSON- SONG “WHO’S LOVIN’ YOU” Jackson 5 live 29-05-1971, Gary, Indiana

    Why don’t you try listening to this youtube video which is a live recording and you’ll know why MJ was actually famous. He actually had talent.

  10. says

    What utter rubbish. Kim could never be as big as Michael Jackson. For one thing; Michael has earned his fame; he is the biggest selling artist of all time. What is kim? The daughter of someone who got a murderer free from jail, and now appears on a reality television show. Michael is still bringing out albums, dvds and games long after his death, while Kim’s fame will be short lived. This is not it for Michael Jackson

  11. Cookie Monster says

    Jackson did earn his fame, and maintained it with with a twist of noteriety (to understate a tad). I do, I’m afraid, have to take exception to your post. To say that Kim “could never” is incorrect, as she has the advantage of being somewhat alive. Then you wrote, “biggest selling artist of all time” which was nonsensical. You need to revisit this “biggest” word before you use it again. It’s a tricky word, to some. Reading further into your post, you stated that Kim’s dead father is now on a reality show. Finally, you seem to believe that Jackson is an undead zombie. I can assure you, Jackson has not done anything since his death. It is, indeed, “it” for Jackson.

    Good luck with your comedy, Mr Hatton, and do try to learn something while you’re at school.