Kim Kardashian has never really gone in for this ‘I’d rather go naked than wear fur’ malarkey for two reasons.
Firstly, Kim Kardashian is naked most of the time anyway, so what’s the point? Also, Kim Kardashian loves fur. Fur is Kim Kardashian’s only vice, apart from having graphic sex with men on the internet and being an unstoppably pointless flimbox.
However, thanks to pressure from her family, Kim Kardashian looks like she’s going to give up fur. That’s great – she just needs to work on the other 462 things that make her so deeply objectionable and we’re back on track.
Kim Kardashian isn’t doing so well at this ‘getting legitimately famous’ thing, is she? Like Paris Hilton to the late Queen Mother before her, Kim Kardashian was supposed to use her graphic internet sex tape to catapult her into the realm of mainstream celebrity, but it hasn’t really happened.
Sure, there’s her reality TV show Keeping Up With The Kardashians, but we get the impression that’s only watched by the bedridden and people who genuinely hate themselves. Similarly, Kim Kardashian’s film career seems to be the only one in history that views Meet The Spartans as a masterpiece of unattainable quality. And let’s not forget about the time when Kim Kardashian was thrown off Dancing With The Stars for knocking Len Goodman‘s dentures out with her buttocks during a risky pirouette she was performing 30ft away. Or something.
But Kim Kardashian is nothing if not a fighter, which is why she’s struck upon a fresh new approach to becoming famous – she’s going to become a bisghot animal rights campaigner.
Now, true, that might be difficult at the moment – what with the way that Kim Kardashian is constantly draped in about six fur coats at a time and couldn’t enrage the likes of PETA any more if she started wearing necklaces made of dog testicles – but Kim’s seen how her sister Khloe’s naked anti-fur advert landed her a spot on Celebrity Apprentice, so she’s jolly well going to give it a go as well. Contactmusic reports:
She says, “I haven’t bought anything new since Khloe did the ad.” But that might not be enough – boyfriend Reggie Bush threatened to dump her if she didn’t give up her pelts – after the pair drove past an anti-fur rally at the Sundance Film Festival in 2008. She tells Eonline.com, “I was wearing a fur vest, and he was like, ‘This is humiliating. I can’t go out with you.'”
That sounds noble enough at first, until you realise that Kim Kardashian is only really admitting to not buying any ridiculously expensive full-length fur coats within the last six weeks. We haven’t bought any fur garments in the last six weeks either, and we can hardly be called animal rights activists. Admittedly that’s mainly because we punched a goat in the face for looking at us funny that time, but that’s another story.
Still, at least Kim Kardashian is making the effort to change her ways, which is something. Giving up fur does leave a gaping hole in Kim Kardashian’s wardrobe, though, so what does she plan to replace it with? Well, judging by her comments about Jessica Simpson yesterday, we wouldn’t be surprised if it involved haking up the bodies of fat people and wearing their flesh. The Ed Gein look is going to be so hot this spring, we hear.
John says
Fur coats ROCK!!!!!!!!
JJ says
ew no they dont, yakk disgusting! how is wearing a tortured dead animal feminine at all?!