The weekend's Teen Choice Awards just had one highlight; not Jessica Simpson monging about all the time or Keanu Reeves winning the kissy-kissy award – everyone's only talking about Kevin Federline.
Kevin Federline took the opportunity to use the Teen Choice Awards to debut his rapping skills live onstage, and gave a truly fist-gnawing rendition of his new single Lose Control. Public reaction to Kevin Federline's rapping couldn't actually have been worse if he'd chosen to tell an Al Qaeda joke while masturbating to a Mothercare catalogue during the middle-eight, but – hey – at least one person thinks that Kevin Federline's rapping went down well. Yup – it's Kevin Federline.
For just a second back there, it looked like Kevin Federline had finally won the battle. After hearing everyone – even his own wife – slagging off leaked internet Kevin Federline track Y'All Ain't Ready and having to suffer the indignity of setting up his own record label to release his new album, Kevin Federline performed his new single Lose Control live at the Teen Choice Awards at the weekend. And, after Britney Spears – who seemed to have realised that getting pregnant by mistake gives you a killer cleavage – introduced him, it looked like Kevin Federline actually did a fairly OK job at rapping. ABC News said:
It wasn't genius, but it wasn't half bad either.
And then the videos of Kevin Federline's performance started to pop up on the Internet so that people around the world got to watch him for themselves and, when they'd finished laughing/ crying/ puking, judge it for themselves. Although public consensus says that Kevin Federline could have stabbed a horse in the eye like Harry Potter and got a better reaction than he did, Kevin Federline tells People magazine that actually he did a pretty bang-up job at the Teen Choice Awards:
"I'm happy, I think I pulled it off pretty well. [But] I'm overly critical of myself… [Afterwards] we went straight from there and jumped in the Ferrari and took off. [Britney] was happy, she was proud… My whole family and everybody was there."
Of course, it must be hard for Kevin Federline to hold his head up high like this with all the criticism that surrounds him. But perhaps – just perhaps – Kevin Federline was terrible on purpose at the Teen Choice Awards. It might be bad for him now, but think how kickass it'll look in the Kevin Federline biopic that's being written by Kevin Federline.
Read more:
Federline 'Happy' With Teen Choice Show – People
[story by Stuart Heritage]
Clia Toris says
Here’s my take on Federline –
Dungtongue