Sometimes, after a messy break up, it’s the broken woman who gets all of the attention. Just look at Britney Spears and Kevin Federline. Whilst she was going commando in clubs and giving herself weird haircuts, very few people spared a thought for poor Federline – alone in a big house somewhere, playing Toxic over and over again, gorging on chocolate bars and eating what must have been about nine meals a day. It was only when he emerged from his post-wedding grief the size of a house that anyone stopped and pointed their cameras at him again.
Yes sir, that man has been eating. So much so that the rumour zipping through Hollywood is that he’s going to sort himself out not by privately hitting a local gym, but by getting broken down and built back up again on VH1′s Celebrity Fit Club in February next year. He’s got guts. Quite literally.
The former backing dancer, one time appalling rapper, and provider of the potent seed that impregnated the popular singer, Britney Spears, not once, but twice, has really let himself go in recent months. Yet, weirdly the clothes are still the same size, it’s just that the man beneath them now fills them out. And like so many backing dancers who once married famous singers – like Cris Judd of was-temporarily-married-to-Jennifer-Lopez fame – the Fed is now branching out into the glamourous swishy world of reality television. Incidentally, for those who can’t quite remember, Judd was one I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here. He was the bald guy. He won the thing.
If further rumours are true, Federline will be sweating and groaning alongside a host of fellow celebrities, many, like Kevin, whom once felt the full heat of a dazzling spotlight that has since waned. There’s Bobby Brown – another pop star divorcee, who has taken to scraping coins together through reality television. Nicole Eggert, who was once so taut and impressive in a Baywatch swimming costume, playing Summer, but now looks like just another woman in her late-30s who loves the sweet aroma of a good pudding. And, most dramatically, Kevin’s ex-girlfriend Shar Jackson - mother to yet another brace of handsome Federline offspring.
Britney has been allowed her phoenix-like rise from the smouldering ashes of her post-freak-out career. So now it’s Kevin’s turn to bask in some familiar glory. And who knows? The sight of her ex-husband wobbling unsteadily and wheezing on a set of scales, as his ex-girlfriend does some clumsy press-ups in the background, might just bring all of those old sexy feelings back. Watch this space.
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