Our heart goes out to Kevin Federline, really it does. He's married to Britney Spears – one of the richest, most famous and (apparently) sexiest women in the world – and all he does is grumble about it.
In a recent interview, Kevin Federline started to whine about what a tough time he was having being married to Britney Spears all the time. And it's only going to get tougher – with Britney almost ready to give birth to her second child, she and Kevin will soon need to learn how to keep their marriage in tip-top condition, even though the time they spend endangering the lives of their kids will expand twofold.
The marriage between Kevin Federline and Britney Spears has always been the centre of a lot of speculation, and we're not sure why. After all, if a millionaire redneck popstar wants to marry her lazy, coattail-riding, cornrowed dancer, then that's her choice entirely. But that hasn't stopped Britney Spears fans from making websites ordering her to divorce Kevin Federline, or the constant rumours that Britney and Kevin are splitting up, or the mental bad poems that Britney Spears writes on her website that are possibly about Kevin Federline.
And, deep down, we know that everything's fine. During Britney Spears' recent televised breakdown, she did manage to burble through a wall of tears, dribble and fallen-off eyelashes that she thought Kevin Federline was "Awesome." On top of that, The National Enquirer published an apology to Britney Spears a few weeks ago for suggesting that her marriage wasn't a constant dreamy wonderland. Plus, Kevin Federline always stands by Britney Spears, even though she isn't really sexy any more. So then, if everything is so great, why did Kevin Federline apparently say in a recent interview about his marriage:
"It's definitely going to be hard. It'll have to be worked at, but that's every relationship."
What does Kevin Federline mean, going to be hard? Well, although Britney Spears is about to give birth to her second child – a time when both mother and baby need all the support they can get from the dominant household male – Kevin Federline is going to be on tour, trying desperately to promote his bad music. No doubt that will be hard, since Britney will have to try and balance two babies on her lap while drives, and the visits to the fractured skull clinic will no doubt double.
Or maybe Kevin Federline is lying, and everything is rosy between him and Britney Spears. Why would he lie? Well, marriage difficulties will pull more audiences in the movie of his life that he's writing.
[story by Stuart Heritage]