Kerry Katona’s Unborn Baby Already A Chip Off The Old Block
According to the ever-reliable News of the World, the walking arsehole known as Kerry Katona is still taking cocaine four months into her pregnancy.
She has also allegedly been seen smoking up to 20 cigarettes at a time. But, guys, hold on a minute before you judge! It’s alright! Kerry’s not stupid. No way! Dr. Katona tells friends:
"It's OK – you can wean the baby off the coke afterwards. It's only booze that can cause serious damage."
Yeah! Fuck off science! Kerry knows best. Just point your saggy bucket vagina in the direction of The Priory and fire.
What a great start to life. That Mother Of The Year award will surely be yours once again, Katona. Hey, what the hell, why not start it on the crack, too? We're sure it’s pretty simple to wean them off that. It is only booze that can cause serious damage after all. It might be a little harder to wean the baby off chips though.
Listen, guys, don’t laugh, but one of Kerry’s mates isn’t so clever. According to the NOTW:
The friend said: "How terrible, to give birth to a beautiful baby which then has to be weaned off the drugs that have been pumped into its tiny body. I don't know how Kerry can do that to her child. It is disgusting."
Disgusting? What a moron! Doesn’t Kerry’s friend realise that you can wean the baby off the coke afterwards?! Hecklerspray is pissing itself. It’s only booze that can cause serious damage you idiot! Some people really have no idea, do they?
"They wanted to keep (the pregnancy) quiet so Kerry could get wrecked. She drank champagne and vodka and downed shots of Aftershock."
Wait. Hold on a second. Didn’t Kerry Katona just say that booze can do serious damage to your baby? And now they say she was actually seen drinking whilst pregnant? No way! Not our Kerry! She must have thought it was Kaliber. Or that non-alcoholic vodka you can get.
Seriously, will someone please get this woman a fucking vasectomy already. It should be illegal for people this stupid to reproduce.
Read more:
Kerry Faces New Drug Claims – The Sun
[story by Callum de Caestecker]
u mean hysterectomy?
Nah, everyone who even entertains the thought of sleeping with her should have the snip n’all.
[...] word yet as to whether Katona’s constant fagging, drinking and, if rumours are to be believed (and let’s remember who we’re dealing with here, people), cocaine snorting has effected the [...]