Kelsey Grammer’s Heart Gives Out, Slightly

The only time Kelsey Grammer had previously been associated with a sense of impending doom was when people heard he was going to be an X-Man.

But that changed in Hawaii this weekend, when Frasier star Kelsey Grammer suffered a heart attack. Don’t panic, though - it was the just the normal kind of mild heart attack that you’d expect from someone with a history of cocaine and alcohol addiction, and Kelsey Grammer is currently recovering in an undisclosed hospital.

Reports that David Hyde Pierce has also had a mild heart attack that was more pernickity and gay-seeming, just to make Kelsey Grammer’s mild heart attack look more normal are rubbish. Seriously, we made them up just now.

The human body is a wonderously complex machine, but it has its limits. Fire one out of a cannon into a wall or try and ram an electric whisk up one’s bottom and you’ll end up with a criminal record and a gigantic dry cleaning bill. There are some things that the human body just doesn’t want to do.

Take Kelsey Grammer, for example - recently he signed up to star in a Tim Allen-directed comedy about crazy mental patients, and now he’s had a heart attack. Coincidence? Years of abnormally heavy wear and tear? Or was it Kelsey Grammer’s own body protesting about star in a crap-sounding Tim Allen movie? Nobody knows for sure, but it was probably the last one.

Anyway, the point is that Kelsey Grammer has suffered a mild heart attack during a visit to his holiday home in Hawaii. Apparently, though, it’s nothing enormously serious and he’ll be out of hospital by the end of the week. BBC News reports:

Frasier star Kelsey Grammer is recovering after having a mild heart attack, his spokesman has said. The 53-year-old experienced chest pains on Saturday morning while paddle-boarding in Hawaii where the actor has a second home. Spokesman Stan Rosenfield said the star was “resting comfortably” at an undisclosed hospital. The actor was with his wife off the Kona coast of Hawaii’s Big Island, when he experienced symptoms.

As dreadful as it must be for Kelsey Grammer and his family at the moment, a heart attack isn’t really that much of a surprise given some of the stuff that Grammer’s been through.

His father was shot dead by a madman when he was a child, his sister was raped and murdered, he’s had difficulties with drugs and alcohol, one of his ex-wives miscarried during a suicide attempt, he’s been accused of statuatory rape, his best friend is a 2,000 year old ghost called Alex, who teaches him about right and wrong and, perhaps most chillingly of all, he was in X-Men 3. It’s not a life many would envy.

Anyway, get well soon Kelsey Grammer. And hurry back to work - X-Men 4 won’t be the same without you. On second thoughts, you should probably just concentrate on your recovery for the next decade or so.