The day of the Country Music Association awards is the third-biggest date on the calenders of all country singers, after the day that they all get to shoot tin cans off a log and the annual Smokey & The Bandit Appreciation Day.

But – however auspicious the Country Music Association awards are – one rootin’-tootin’, pedal to the metal, CB radio-hollerin’ cowboy with unnaturally white teeth and suspiciously straight hair won’t be attending. Poor old Keith Urban has announced that he’ll be missing the CMA awards next month thanks to all his rehab commitments. Keith Urban fans shouldn’t worry, though, since his spot at the CMA awards will be filled by the world’s second biggest country act – Whistlin’ Jeb Sugarfoot And The One-Toothed Inbred Banjo Allstars, performers of the number one smash hit I Actually Had Literal Sexual Intercourse With A Piece Of Industrial Farming Machinery.