Keira Knightley Goes To Premiere, Wears Dress, Is Skinny

Keira Knightley's got a new film coming out soon - you may have seen it advertised on TV, it's the one where everyone feels compelled to make a noise like a power drill cutting through a stack of tiles when they talk.

But the release of Atonement meant that Keira Knightley could do one of the things she loves the most - putting on a dress and going to a premiere. And that's what she did last night. Keira Knightley wore a dress to the Atonement premiere. And that's about it. That's all that happened - Keira Knightley put on a dress, went to the Atonement premiere and some people said she looked quite nice. Oh, and then Keira Knightly got so drunk afterwards that she projectile vomited at a policeman and knocked his helmet off. No, that bit didn't really happen - all that happened was the Keira Knightley/ premiere/ dress scenario that we already think we've made quite clear.

People generally haven't focused on Keira Knightley's acting for a while. That's because the last film that Keira Knightley acted in was the Pirates Of The Caribbean sequel, and Keira didn't so much act in that than shout everything in the mistaken belief that it made her funnier. It's also because everyone's preoccupied with how skinny Keira Knightley is - and Keira Knightley is preoccupied with suing people who say Keira Knightley is skinny.

Actually, that's an exaggeration - someone has been focusing on Keira Knightley's acting, and that's Keira Knightley. But Keira, however, only talks about being a film star to tell everyone how much she hates it and how she wants to quit acting. But if that ever happened, if Keira Knightley ever gave up acting, then she wouldn't be able to go to premieres and sensible newspapers wouldn't devote all that space to saying how pretty she looks. Take last night's Atonement premiere, for instance - the media is in a froth because Keira Knightley turned up dressed as a Greek. No, not Gerry from Big Brother. The Mirror reports:

Keira Knightley looks like she's landed a part in Greece - as she dresses like a classical goddess in a daring robe. The screen beauty, 22, wowed fans with a lace robe slashed across the chest as she arrived for the premiere of her movie Atonement. She rounded off the ancient Greek look with a diamond tiara resembling a garland. A fan at London's Leicester Square said: "Keira looked absolutely heavenly."

Phew, that's certainly a weight off our minds. Not that it'll make us want to go and see Atonement, though - the Atonement trailer is full of accents that sound like two giant pieces of metal scraping against each other to such a horrific degree that we fear our ears just aren't up for a full-length assault. But despite this - and the fact that hardly anyone has seen it yet - Keira Knightley is being tipped for an Oscar for her daring role of A Woman Who's Exactly The Same As Every Other Woman Keira Knightley Has Ever Played In All Her Films. And you know what? Good luck to Keira Knightley - we hope she does get nominated for some awards for Atonement. That way we get to listen to her banging on about crisps again, and we surely do love that.

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Keira's Divine Dress - Mirror