Katy Perry and Miley Cyrus Cry Out For Attention During Bangerz Tour

bitchplease

File this under: bitch please. Or you can go ahead and cue the 1,000,000th joke about “Katy Perry Kissed a Girl…AND IT WAS MILEY CYRUS!” or some shit like that, but I refuse to use any sort of headline like that! I’m better than that (no I’m not), and I decided to go ahead and call a spade a spade. Like two drunk 19-year-old girls making out at a bar, Katy and Miley kissed in public for one reason and one reason only: attention.

Katy attended Miley’s shit show of a tour at the Staples Center in Los Angeles on Saturday night, because I guess she wanted eye and ear herpes to go with the genital ones John Mayer gave her, and while Miley was singing her meh song, “Adore You,” she spotted Katy in the crowd. So what did she do at the end of the song? Leaned down and kissed, Katy, of course, because she knew no one was going to write 20 million blogs about that (I’m such a sheep, I just give Miley what she wants).

Side note: If Miley changed the name of her tour from “Bangerz” to “Random and Horny as Fuck”, I’d appreciate it and accept it way more because it would be honestly and I like honesty from people (except for the women in my family who let me know when I look pale or too skinny or when my hips look too big. Keep that shit to yourselves!)

Anyway, after the concert, Miley had to make sure that everyone knew what happened and would go out and Google the pic by Tweeting:

I just kissed a girl and I really liked it a lot.

Ugh, I can forgive her because she’s only 21, but Katy, come on, you’re going to be 30 this year. I get that everyone knows you and John Mayer aren’t engaged now, so there goes that bit of tabloid fodder, and that you’ve been getting a lot of negative press over your insensitive videos, but you’re (maybe) better than this, and you used to hang out with Miley when she looked like this:

bbmileyIt’s like watching a former babysitter kissing the little neighbor girl she used to watch on the weekends; it’s just weird!

You can even see that maybe Katy realized how embarrassing that shit was in this picture taken the second after it happened:

OFaceMiley basically looks like a boy might after he finally got to kiss the hot babysitter he had as a kid who he thought about the first time he jerked off. Sorry not sorry for being REAL.

My reaction to this shit?

ijustcant

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