Kerry Katona Shits Out Another One

Kerry Katona has managed to squeeze out another baby after two days of labour.

Two days in labour? That must have hurt. Good.

Max Clifford, Katona’s publicist, had these words to say of the joyous occasion:

“Kerry is fine.She had a natural labour after being induced at lunchtime today. Max is great, he’s a little small, but Kerry’s baby Heidi was only 4lbs, 9oz when she was born premature.”

No word yet as to whether Katona’s constant fagging, drinking and, if rumours are to be believed (and let’s remember who we’re dealing with here, people), cocaine snorting, has affected the baby in any way. Suppose it would be quite hard to tell considering the gene pool it’s been swimming in.

There is some slightly good news though. Do you want it? Do you? Do you really, really want it? OK. Here it is: No more Crazy In Love! Yeah! Actually, no, fuck, who cares? The only people hecklerspray could find that actually watched this visual twaddle were a married couple living in Essex who were also each other’s uncles.

And grandmothers. And smelt of gammon. And said things like, “At the end of the day, right, you know what I mean, yeah?”

And didn’t exist. Kerry, apparently, put a stop to the show when her depression got the better of her. We know what you’re all thinking: what does a fat, moronic, failure with no redeeming qualities whatsoever have to be depressed about? Beats us.

And, Kerry, if you’re reading this, we’ve got some really great advice on how to lose not only the pregnancy fat but all the other fat that was there anyway: Stop breathing. Seriously, give it a try for a couple of hours. It’s very effective.

Read More - Kerry Gives Birth To Tiny Max - The Sun