One woman freakshow Katie Price manages to still linger in the headlines even though she hasn’t been relevant since the late 1990s (and as someone whose sole purpose in life was to expose her breasts, was barely even relevant then). But take heed people of the world, for the miracles of modern science are on show!
Katie Price is no longer one for ageing. She’s undergone all kinds of plastic surgery, and now she’s mitigated against the worst fate that can befall an aged human being like her: the loss of her eyebrows.
That might sound ridiculous (and, well, it’s on here, so it kind of is), but yes, people are now permanently tattooing eyebrows onto their faces. That’s how bad it’s got.
I’ll admit I don’t understant the whole thing women do where they forcibly pluck their natural eyebrow hair out of their face in what would be described in many Middle Eastern countries (and a couple of US military handbooks) as Torture 101, then proceed to pencil in new ones for a night out. It’s the small scale equivalent of deciding to burn off your facial features then hand over a sharpie to a friend and let them doodle in a new nose, eyes and mouth for you.
There’s so much risk involved: what happens if, for example, the tattooist pictured above sneezes mid-draw? You could end up looking permanently surprised for the rest of your life. And when the rest of your hair (inevitably) greys, what are you going to do? You’ll have jet black eyebrows that literally haven’t moved for the past 40 years staring back out at the world, indicating that you are someone who decided to try their hand at immortality and foolishly didn’t think about how fucking stupid this whole thing would look in the future.
The worst thing is that this will become a trend precisely because Price has done it. Soon, like with boob jobs, you’ll have prepubsecent girls going in for surgery saying that they want to look like her. And what’ll happen is that you’ll have 11-year olds coming out with inked-on eyebrows that they can’t take off when they decide that actually, they want to look normal aged 35.
And what if they want to dye their hair? Jet black eyebrows in a permanent look of surprise when you have bright blonde hair might not look so smart. But I guess that’s what you get from someone who describes plastic surgery as if it’s “going shopping.”