We've often wondered what Kate Moss and Pete Doherty – the world's most in-demand supermodel and a sort of dirty busker – get up to behind closed doors, but now that a video of Kate and Pete gooning around is on YouTube we can wonder no more.
And what do Kate Moss and Pete Doherty get up to behind closed doors? Well, if this new YouTube video is in any way representative, it seems that they live the life of a normal couple – Pete Doherty mongs about on a guitar all day and Kate Moss only interrupts to call Pete things like "Liar," "Fantasist," "Cunt" and "Cuntface" while kicking him in the head from time to time. We've genuinely never wanted to be Kate Moss more.
Oh, the Moss/Doherty video is below, if you're interested.
Peasants! Unable to get Glastonbury tickets this year? Upset that you won't be able to see the £100 Pete Doherty performance that's literally got a handful of idiots moderately excited? Well never mind, because there's a video of Pete Doherty singing a song with an abusive-seeming Kate Moss doing the rounds on YouTube that's causing a sensation among people who didn't think that Kate Moss could swear.
That's right, YouTube isn't just about shit videos of wankers hugging each other or skin-crawling mimes of modern day atrocities – it's equally about weird staged-looking videos of a dirty-looking junkie incomprehensibly mumbling a song in the style of a kicked dog while a woman who officially wears quite nice clothes calls him a "cuntface." Ladies and gentlemen, it's the Kate Moss/ Pete Doherty YouTube video, as described by The Mirror:
In the three-minute clip, the Babyshambles singer is seen strumming a guitar for the camera. Kate walks in, wearing only knickers under a seethrough dress. Smoking a cigarette, she yells to his strumming: "Rot in jail you cunt. Rot, rot, rot, rot, rot, rot." At one point, she says: "Sonny and Cher we're not."
This YouTube video seems to be the latest chapter in the thundering void that is Kate Moss and Pete Doherty's personal life. First Kate Moss and Pete Doherty got together, then they split up because Pete Doherty has got a tiny willy, then they got back together, then they got married but not really, then Kate Moss almost dumped Pete Doherty but not quite, then they got booted out of an awards show for necking and now there's this Kate Moss/Pete Doherty YouTube video for us to try and form an opinion about.
Ah yes, the video. As much as it seems to be trying to pass itself off as a genuine home movie of Kate Moss and Pete Doherty, several things give us the impression that it's all staged. For a start, someone actually shouts the word "cut" at the end of it, and also Kate Moss says the word "fantasist" somewhere in the middle – an unusually long word for her. Prior to this YouTube video, the longest word that Kate Moss had ever used was "Num-num" in November 2002 when a waiter in a restaurant asked her what food she'd like to order.
Still, full marks to Pete Doherty for not splattering the camera with dirty junkie blood this time around.
Chances are, though, that this video of Kate Moss and Pete Doherty will be a success – last time Kate Moss made a video it broke the internet and Pete Doherty is, like, totally a poet for the way he, you know, puts words in various sequences and doesn't wash often. Anyway, here's the Kate Moss/ Pete Doherty YouTube video. Enjoy it the best you can.
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mandy says
of course it was staged KP NUTS
Boris says
Mandy’s right. It was obviously staged.
It’s brilliant, though, don’t you think? He’s a genius, Doherty is. Just amazing. The way he does stuff like this is just fantastic.
A lot of people don’t appreciate how cool and like, smacked out he is, but under all that, he’s just the best poet ever in Britain and I reckon he’s done amazing things for the hat industry as well, because he’s so cool in his hat. The way he sweats in it is just sensational.
A real inspiration to us all. Like most Doherty fans, I’d lick his guitar clean if he asked me to.
Baaaaaaaaa.
Go Pete.
tamara says
she wants to shag and he is having a ‘i’m a distracted musician’ moment – bless them, they’re all normal and stuff
Euclid says
These two are just dreamy, aren’t they? So dreamy.
They make beautiful dreams for us, because we are
too ugly and shabby to make our own. Thank God
for them.
I bet Pete’s hat is just full of dreams. Beautiful
sweaty dreams. I wish I could buy a hat to
have beautiful sweaty dreams in. I wish I could
wear Pete’s hat, full of beautiful sweaty dreams
for just one moment so that some of those dreams
would rub off on my hair. I would never wash again
with beautiful sweaty dreams in my hair. Maybe
one of them would even get inside my head somehow
through my hair and then I would become a
beautiful Poet of Vision and such. Maybe if I watch the hideo
a few more times and just focus on his flintstone furry jacket
enough they will come to me…
jeff hack says
petes a dream boat skag head,kate needs a dip of my chip again.