And of course,?poor fresh-faced Katie Holmes.
Bumping into the ex is utterly shite and always happens when you least expect it to. And why would it be any other way? You endured months of odd hot and cold behaviour before you realised he was an arse/had webbed feet/worshipped bronze guinea pigs (delete as applicable) so why make it easier now? It’s like a sniper waiting around the corner to shoot your brains out, and this sniper goes after celebrities too… even ones who used?blindingly complex?vocab as a teenager rather than simply mutter “meh” to every question posed by an adult.
You could be shuffling around the supermarket with a crippling hangover when the ex comes, or sweating to unnatural levels at the gym, or queuing in the chemist for that errrr…. ahem.
Or you could be Katie Holmes, trotting down a red carpet in full flash camera-ready glamour at this week’s National Movie Awards in London.
Generally, for most civilians, it is guaranteed you will be less attractive than you have ever felt when meeting the ex. Yes, worse than that time you were sick in the street on holiday and people took photos and laughed.
Why would the Gods of love want you to look blisteringly hot for that heart stopping inevitability that is seeing your ex again? They were never on your side in the first place, were they?
Poor Katie may have been slightly mortified to find former first love and Dawson’s Creek co-star Joshua Jackson sashaying down the red carpet with hideously leggy/sexy/perfect white-toothed girlfriend Diane Kruger. But hey, at least she was dolled up.
Sorry, did I mention she had perfect white teeth?
I wonder if the young starlets ever realised it would come to this? Moving from the??dictionary with a thyroid problem? world of Dawson?s Creek, where a character is not down or pissed off but draped in the heavy wings of a melancholic angel or something, to standing on a red carpet in a silly dress next to a midget in front of your first love and his stunning new girlfriend.
Not sure what is more embarrassing really, the scathing reviews of her stripy dress or her pint-sized, sofa hopping hubby.
No Tom, not even your stupid shades and smug grin can save you now. This. Is. Awkward.
I know where I would rather be, and it’s not standing beside Cruise.