Kate Garraway Wins Cash For Not Shagging That Dancer

The best thing about Strictly Come Dancing is that all the celebrities are clearly sleeping with their dance partners. Clearly.

Except one. GMTV’s Kate Garraway - who took part in last year’s Strictly Come Dancing - definitely didn’t have sex with her chinny professional partner Anton Du Beke, and if you say she did you have to give her loads of money.

Which is what the Sunday Mirror has done after publishing a story claiming that Kate Garraway and Anton Du Beke were having an affair. In retrospect it seems like a silly claim - the thought of a Garraway/Du Beke affair seems ludicrous. Because, well, because he’s a massive chinny chin machine with a great big chinny chin.

Typical. Our life is basically a procession of not sleeping with any dancers whatsoever at all over a period of many, many years. But nobody cares about that, do they? Meanwhile Kate Garraway doesn’t sleep with one dancer once and newspapers have to chuck all kinds of substantial libel damages at her. Really, where’s the justice?

Earlier this year, The Sunday Mirror published a report that appeared to claim that Kate Garraway and Anton Du Beke were continuing an affair that began when they took part on Strictly Come Dancing together.

But it turns out that the report was absolutely false, because Kate Garraway has just accepted a giant lump of cash from the Sunday Mirror because of all the nasty lies it told. BBC News reports:

GMTV presenter Kate Garraway has accepted “substantial” libel damages from the Daily Mirror and Sunday Mirror over claims she committed adultery. The star, who is married to former Labour spin doctor Derek Draper, said she was “glad” the matter was resolved. “The way my friendship with Anton was twisted into something sordid was terribly unfair and upsetting,” the 39-year-old said. “No-one likes to take legal action against a newspaper but I could see no alternative.”

You know, we’d even go one step further than Kate Garraway here - claiming that she had an affair with Anton Du Beke isn’t just sordid, it’s downright nonsensical. Put yourself in Anton Du Beke’s place and you’ll see why.

Firstly, prior to Kate Garraway, Anton Du Beke’s other Strictly Come Dancing partners were Lesley Garrett, Esther Rantzen, Jan Ravens and Patsy Palmer. Having to dance with those women week after week would turn any man into a snarling misogynist who’d rather stab forks into his eyes than bring himself to look at a female again, let alone have sex with one.

Secondly, and this is the most important point, did you see how Kate Garraway danced on Strictly Come Dancing? They say that how someone dances is an indication of how they have sex, and if that’s the case then making love to Kate Garraway must be like catching your genitals in a bear trap that’s been welded to an out-of-control washing machine balanced on a trampoline in a wind tunnel.

And - trust us, this is experience talking - no man wants to do that. Not again.

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GMTV host Garraway wins damages - BBC