Kate Bush is releasing an album and everyone is getting very, very excited. It’ll be out in November and will be called 50 Words For Snow. A Christmas album no less. How very, very thrilling.
That said, it may as well be called ’50 Words For Lazy’ as Kate isn’t exactly known to have a particularly good work ethic.
After a run of LPs in the late 70s and 80s, Kate put her feet up and released 4 albums (including this new one) in nearly 20 years. That’s impressively bone idle. And so, this got us thinking: Who are the laziest people in music? Which bands are so workshy that they can’t even be bothered to release music to their adoring fans?
Considering The Beatles released 12 albums in 7 years (and kinda went about changing the face of popular culture as they went along), it’s astonishing that so many bands and artists agonise over their LPs to the point that they can’t ever get ’round to releasing anything.
Artists spend far too much time pondering and staring out of windows waiting for their muse to strike. Not like The Fall. They’ve released 18 albums in the past 30 minutes alone.
It’s quite pathetic really (mind you, writers are far worse).
And so, let’s have a look at some of the most lethargic, lazy-ass bands from the annals of popular recorded music.
Guns n Roses
GnFR are one of the most slovenly groups to ever waddle around the stadium of rock. In their 24 years they’ve released a paltry 6 albums, leaving fans waiting aaaaaaaaaaaages to hear the tripe that turned into Chinese Democracy. Worse still, in that time where they were more prolific, they released LPs filled with cover versions. If Axl Rose spent more time being a musician, rather than trying to pick fights with his own reflection and everyone else, while getting braided hair and growing ill-advised beards, he might’ve actually got some work done.
Portishead
In 17 years, Portishead have only managed 3 proper albums. Of course, with their image being that of shy, retiring, sensitivity, this reclusiveness only adds to their mystique for fans. Mystique is one thing… having more records to enjoy listening to is entirely another. Dossing swine.
Massive Attack
Another Bristolian outfit, Massive Attack just can’t be bothered doing any work. In 20 years, they’ve squeezed out a pitiful 5 albums. Maybe they should lay off the weed and try kicking each other up the arse once in a while.
Vashti Bunyan
Vashti Bunyan, considered by many to be something of a female Nick Drake (only without the suicide) is an impressively lazy woman. She recorded her first LP in 1970, and then left it ’til 2005 to record a follow up. So, at present, that’s two albums in 41 years. Worse still, both albums aren’t nearly as good as record collector types make out.
My Bloody Valentine
In 23 years, MBV have managed to release a whopping 2 whole albums. Of course, one of them nearly bankrupted Creation Records (it would’ve saved us from a fate worse than Oasis if it had). Valentines honcho Kevin Shields really doesn’t know how to work quickly. He’s musical dole scum, and we mean that in an endearing way.
Boston
Boston, in 35 years, have honked up a measly 5 albums. They must really, really love a lie-in.
Sex Pistols
The Sex Pistols released 1 proper LP in 37 years. There’s people who will argue that they imploded before they got rubbish, but look at how many compilations and lousy cash-grabbing tours they have completed since then. Of course, being odious punks, they can pass the whole thing off as some kind of art-school prank. That’s how people like John Lydon can get away with doing anything he wants, even if it’s appearing on reality TV and starring in commercials on TV. He’s essentially Britney Spears with better excuses.
MISSED ANY BANDS? TELL US IN THE COMMENTS THEN.
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louis says
isnt it funny all the groups above are recognised for exceptional music ?
maybe it’s the lack of speed that contributes to this
Dont see Lady Gaga in the list !
DeathBoy says
Neneh Cherry? :)
( check http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neneh_Cherry )
Si Sharp says
I expect it’s a combination of wealth and lack of inspiration that contributes in most bands getting less prolific as they get older. No all, mind you. Kate Bush just prefers being a mum.
I doubt even the most die-hard GnR fan would claim they got better with each album.
Lutz says
How lazy are you, Mof? How many albums have you released in your career?
Si says
What right do you have to criticise Mof? How many celebrity gossip type websites have you edited/written in your career?
wayne clooney says
Kraftwerk. Supposedly work 6 days a week ‘creating’ new sounds which are never good enough to release. Endless re-hashing of old ‘classics’ render creativity pointless. Last ‘new’ music: 1983’s ‘exploration’ of old classic ‘Tour De France’. Then released all their old albums as ‘Der Katalog’ just to show how boring life can be in Dussledorf.