Ever wonder if the Kardashians were more favorable than North Korea? Or if Lindsay Lohan is more palatable than a colonoscopy? If you said yes, than do I have the poll for you.
Even if you don’t live in ‘murrica, not to be confused with the once great and powerful country called the United States of America (1776-1981), you may still know that we have found ourselves in a few sticky situations with the various systems that make up our society. Perhaps the stickiest of these is Congress, where a bunch of totally batshit rich old people are currently squatting and making things quite difficult for the rest of the country to, you know, not be poor, miserable, and full of bullet holes.
Thankfully, this leads to some entertaining moments of
self parody insanity reality that let me write about things like this; We now have quantifiable proof of just how much everybody hates the most insufferable “celebrities” in this country.
And also how much we really love lice.
Public Policy Polling wanted to find out just how unpopular this group of dysfunctional lunatics – Congress I mean, not the Kardashians – really are and decided to poll them against other generally unpopular things. This includes root canals, Castro, traffic jams, Nickelback, cockroaches, and Donald Trump.
The poll showed us a few things. The first being that Donald Trump is exactly as indistinguishable from cockroaches as I imagined. The second being that, if we use Congress as kind of a patient zero baseline, we can infer that America really, really hates Lindsay Lohan the Kardashians. Even carnies and France end up having a more positive image than them, and it takes a lot of effort for most Americans to admit they prefer France to anything.
But hey, look on the bright side group of people who are still famous for almost no reason whatsoever, at least you are better than meth labs and gonorrhea. Or as Lindsay calls it, a Saturday.
Hah! I could so write for Leno.
If you want to look at all the numbers in their dry glory, check it out here. Or you can look at this conveniently organized chart because, hey, I’ve already insinuated America died when Reagan became president, quoted a poll from PPP, and made fun of Donald Trump, so I may as well link to a liberal rag and go for the full alienation of any conservative reader that stumbles on this article.