Just when shit starts to calm down a bit with the Kardashians, these bitches come out guns a-blazing and take over every damn media outlet with their bullshit.? Kim Kardashian has proven once again why she is the least seriously taken celebrity whore around by showing off her plastic filled ass for some random magazine.
Paired off with some serious Fraggle Rock hair and her biggest dipshit smile, Kim’s project was entitled “Break the Internet” but?I am certain “Ruin the Internet FOREVER” is much more applicable.? As if destroying the sanctity of reality television wasn’t bad enough.
Kim Kardashian might be the biggest hypocrite I have ever seen, which is saying a lot since my job is basically to fill my internet browsing history with selfish, stupid celebrities and their bullshit.? But Kim really does take the cellulite cake.? Her entire career is based upon a foundation of golden showers and tits on film.? Yet for years now, Kardashian has cried many ugly tears on her reality show about how she is more than her body, more than that sex tape, and a real business woman.? She came right out and said she’d no longer do nudity in magazine.? Then she basically ran right out and ripped her clothes off for a paycheck.? But then she had a kid, and was a mom now, and was demure, blah blah blah.
So Kim then took up the art of promoting “loving your body” and how women should embrace change, especially pregnancy change.? She bragged about how hard she was working to get her waist back after ballooning up like Shamu’s whore cousin.? Then came all the Photoshopped Instagram pictures,?which is the ultimate sign of too much fucking shallowness.? Instagram is for well angled selfies in a Valencia filter and pictures of your overpriced dinner/Pinterest failed dessert. When you take the time to liquefy your waist while taking mirror shots at “the gym”- you’re a fucking tool.
Now, in what is the?pinnacle of Kim’s hypocriticalness, we have her cover for some magazine called Paper. I warn you that if you were looking forward to ham for Thanksgiving, that you may not want to continue to read.? You will never eat it again, nor will you ever be able to play with a Mr. Potato Head without feeling a strong desire to upchuck.
I just don’t get it.? That shit is so obviously altered, it’s ridiculous.? And if you think that picture is over the top, you should see the others.? Kim goes full frontal naked, and again you know there was some Adobe action going on because that taco is certainly not as neat as they make it appear to be.
Of course, other celebrities pretty quickly reacted, and my favorite one is definitely Chelsea Handler.? Jennifer Aniston’s less hot BFF took to Instagram with a selfie of her own ass.
Of course, Instagram doesn’t get their dick sucked by Handler the way the Kardashians do every Sunday, so they took it down.? Chelsea reposted the picture multiple times in protest of the double standard, and finally ended with Handler reposting a bare boobs shot from a few weeks ago that Chelsea put up n response to Vladimir Putin’s moobs.
I also really appreciate the shade that Naya Rivera,?Glee’s resident Dollar Tree version of Kim threw.
Am I actually approving of something this crazy bitch does that doesn’t involve knocking out Lea Michele?? I think I am.