Kanye West Went to Jail for an Episode of Lost


Remember a while back when Kanye West beat the crap out of some guy at LAX and dude pressed charges? Well, on Thursday Kanye finally served his time like the hardened criminal he is. He rolled into the Hollywood LAPD, turned himself in, was put in a jail cell, then walked out 49 minutes later.

After years of people being up my ass about not loving “Lost” I finally started watching it on Netflix. In the amount of time it takes me to watch half an episode of “Lost”, take a pee/snack break, then finish the episode, Kanye West got put in jail, served his time, and was then released. Justice at its finest.

I don’t know why anyone was surprised by this shit, celebrities that are regularly in the media and at the height of their fame don’t spend genuine time in jail. Hell, they don’t even have to worry about spending the damn night in jail. In most cases, they don’t even have time to have a decent nap. 49 minutes? That’s not even a quality nap, my friend, and I know a thing or two about napping.

On the bright side of all this fuckery, you just know that Kanye’s next album is going to be all about his time in jail and his experiences being processed and put behind bars. I can just hear the lyrics now: “I beat up a white guy/he deserved it ‘cuz he white/made me go to jail and I/tried to put up a fight/Police try to lock me down/’Cuz of the colour of my skin/Put me behind bars and now/The white man thinks he win”.

If lyrics that look even remotely familiar to that show up on Kanye’s next album he will be going back to jail for another episode of “Lost” because I’m going to sue his ass!