It’s weird to think that a monstrous egotist of Kanye West’s stature had avoided Twitter until now.
But there’s a simple explanation. It’s the character limit. On Twitter you’re limited to 140 of them. And this posed an immediate problem for Kanye West, a man who has never knowingly finished a sentence by using less than 150 exclamation marks. How could he possibly convince others of his intensity with less than that? Also, have you tried interrupting someone’s tweet to tell them that Beyonce‘s tweets are better? It’s impossible. And that is why Kanye West hadn’t joined Twitter.
But now he has. And that seems to be one of the biggest news stories of the day. Very, very, embarrassingly scant details fleshed out after the jump…
Kanye West has faced some challenges in his life – like the car crash that nearly killed him, the war of words with 50 Cent and having to deal with Jay Leno flapping his chin at him in dead mother-invoking disapproval just because he briefly made a girl sad – but none are as serious as this.
That’s right, Kanye West has joined Twitter. And if he wants to compete with the millions of self-obsessed, self-promoting dullards who inhabit Twitter, he’s really going to have to up his self-obsessed, self-promoting dullardry to brand new levels. And surely he’s already operating at full capacity. Any more self-obsession and he runs a very real change of exploding his temporal artery right across his gigantic head.
Nevertheless, that hasn’t stopped Kanye West from joining Twitter -snatching up the @KanyeWest account – or great big news organisations from pretending that that’s somehow newsworthy. NBC reports:
Kanye West officially joined Twitter on Wednesday and in a matter of a few hours amassed more than 30,000 followers and was listed more than 200 times. Joining Twitter is just another way for Kanye to get connected as the September 14th release date for his new album approaches.
That figure has already shot up – at time of writing he’s at 204,000 followers and 2,500 lists – and no wonder; the information that Kanye West is dispensing on Twitter is invaluable. For example, Kanye revealed that his new album will no longer be called Good Ass Job, that he thinks that Jimmy Fallon often wears nice suits, that nice glasses are nicer than not nice glasses and that he feels the glow. How we got by without knowing any of this is a genuine mystery to us.
Kanye West has yet to follow anyone back, possibly because he thinks that he’s the only person who actually exists.
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Neal says
I don’t know where to start — the whole thing is too effing funny.
She's Had it says
Haters he’s back bitches
Nick says
You just covered this story!!! You really told him!
Jennifer says
Too freaking great. You said everything I would say, but ten times better! Love it! :D
He’s an air-polluter. Nothing more.
Susan says
Well, i think the whole thing is too effing funny, thanx for the post.
steve says
Anyone who uses the word “haters” is obviously juvenile and submoronic. Derrrrrr!!!!