That Kanye West is a bit of a card, isn't he? If he's not dressing up as Jesus and talking about his porn addiction, he's painting 77 women gold and getting them to walk around after him.

But all this time Kanye West has been keeping a secret from all of us – he's got a long-term girlfriend. And, according to People magazine at least, Kanye West has just got engaged to her. Now, if we knew what the surname or job of Kanye West's lady was we'd be laughing. But we don't. So we're not.

Kanye West is famous for all manner of things, from actually making Mike Myers do a number two on live TV with his "George Bush doesn't care about black people" line to legally not ripping off other people's songs. But having a long-term girlfriend who he's just got engaged to isn't something we'd immediately associate with Kanye West.

And we're not sure why, either. Perhaps it's Kanye West's big cheeks – if we were a girl, we'd be worried that his jowls were stuffed full of all his old dinners, like a hamster's, or perhaps it's the fact that he's always banging on about how much he loves pornography. Or the way that he's never once mentioned having a girlfriend ever. But, one way or another, Kanye West has managed to bag himself a long-term girlfriend. And now they're apparently engaged – reports say that Kanye proposed to her on a trip abroad two weeks ago. But who the hell is Kanye West's fiance?

Well, nobody really knows. Apparently she's called Alexis. As for her last name, nobody knows that either. Or what her job is. Some sources are claiming that Alexis was Kanye West's girlfriend even before the car crash which inspired his single Through The Wire. But they're not sure. Anyway, the point is that Kanye West is engaged. Honest. Probably.

Read more:

Kanye West Engaged To Girlfriend Alexis – People

[story by Stuart Heritage]