Many things separate Kanye West from the rest of the hip-hop crowd – for example there's his style, his attitude and his willingness to spend £2,000 flying a five-foot curried fish to New York from Wales every time he gets a bit peckish.
The British Raj Indian restaurant in Rogerstone near Newport has apparently been contacted by Kanye West's people because Kanye wants a five-foot curried Ayre fish as the centrepiece of some kind of banquet thing he's holding later this week. So tomorrow The British Raj will send the food – along with chef Kaysor Ahmed – to New York from Wales to give Kanye West and his guests a typical British takeaway curry experience. Presumably this means that Kaysor Ahmed will telephone Kanye West 12 times during the journey because he's somehow got lost and then pretend to have no change on him when he reaches Kanye's house to try and get a bigger tip.
Kanye West has never been one to play by the rules. While his hip-hop counterparts are more than happy to get arrested for not wearing a seatbelt on a plane or let someone shoot them in the thigh, Kanye West has shown signs that he's a man of more refined tastes – refined as in dressing up like Jesus and getting secretly engaged to people, that is, not to mention trying to make a film about himself and really pissing Evel Kinevel off.
So when Kanye West decided that he wanted to eat a curry later in the week, did he do what the rest of us do and phone up his local Indian, order some food while feeling slightly racist deep down for not being able to pronounce the names of the dishes properly, wait for 40 minutes and then get put off by all the yellow grease stains smeared across the container lids?
No way. This is Kanye West we're talking about, remember – the man who throws actual tantrums if he doesn't win awards – so his takeaway procedure involves finding an Indian restaurant 3,000 miles away from where he currently is, ordering a fish that's as big as Barbara Windsor and then paying £2,000 to transport the food and the restaurant's head chef to New York in a multitude of helicopters, aeroplanes and limousines to his hotel for some kind of fancy banquet. BBC News reports:
"We are all very nervous about the meal, especially Kaysor," said [restaurant manager] Mr Ahmed, who describes the British Raj as an upmarket restaurant. "We're not used to all this attention. We just hope that everything goes well on Tuesday and that we provide good food. When it is all over then I'll feel relief. But this sort of thing happens once in a blue moon so we are very pleased to be able to do it." The helicopter will be flying into Tredegar Park Golf Club at 1330 GMT on Tuesday to transport Kaysor Ahmed and the food to Heathrow. He will then fly to JFK airport, New York before being taken to a secret location to cook for Mr West and eight to 10 members of his entourage.
Now, this might seem to you like Kanye West is wasting a lot of money and effort – not to mention causing all sorts of unnecessary environmental damage – by flying a takeaway curry all the way from Wales to New York just so he can see what a big fish tastes like, but Kanye West is nothing but a shrewd businessman – it'll take much longer than an hour for Kaysor Ahmed to transport his curry to New York. Just think about all the free delicious mango chutney that Kanye West can expect from a delay like that.