There was hope that even though Kanye West is a total asshole, and Kim Kardashian is a total fame whore, that somehow they both would put aside their shitty qualities in order to be better parents for their daughter. Instead, it seems poor North is not only stuck with a stupid ass name, but will continue to play second fiddle to West’s glass ceiling issues and Kim’s need to suck fame’s metaphoric dick.
The poster couple for staged relationships is in Paris for Fashion Week. And while West thinks leather sweat pants are the epitome of fashion forward, apparently babies do not meet his creative standard and North was left home in the States. Kardashian is stressed out a bit because she worries the separation will cause her massive milk jugs to dry up faster than Scott Disick around poor people.
Originally, Kim wanted to be a good mother and take her baby with them to France. However, West knows that it is much harder knock out paparazzi when you’re pushing a stroller. Plus, if someone is talking about North, then they aren’t talking about Kanye. And you cannot not always be talking about Kanye.
“Kim really wanted to take Nori to Paris but Kanye insisted that it wasn’t a good idea because of his issues with photographers. He thought it was too dangerous.
He also wanted Kim all to himself for a few days. He said they needed to spend time together as a couple away from her family.”
See, this is why Kanye really actually likes the paps a bit. He can use them as a total scapegoat to cover up his selfishness. And here’s a massive eye roll to him wanting Kim all to himself for a few days. The only thing he wants is to continue playing with his real life play doll and dress her up in ridiculous outfits he truly wishes he could be wearing. And there’s no way to stick Kardashian in more high neck couture body condoms if she has a baby trying to get to the teet.
Here’s a quick breastfeeding lesson for those unaware- it’s all about supply and demand. Your boobs make as much as is taken. No takey, no milkey. So, without North sucking down nature’s good shit, Kim’s body will say “And we’re done!” Now, since King West decreed babies to be as passe as Michael Jackson, Kim wanted to at least bring a pump with her overseas. It would be a good compromise. Kim could keep making milk, some poor assistant could argue with French FedEx about overnighting the super special bags, everyone wins. But since Givenchy hasn’t created their own line of gold plated breast pumps, West wouldn’t even allow that.
“Kim had wanted to continue breast feeding for another two months. She considered taking a breast pump with her to Paris and having either an assistant flying the milk back to L.A. or shipping it back by FedEx. Kanye thought that was ludicrous, and as usual he got his way.”
Of course Kanye thought it was ludicrous- it took attention away from Yeezus. And, as we all should be fully aware by now, that is some unacceptable shit.
But all is okay with Kim, don’t you worry. Any little bit of sads she may have had was totally fixed by the free overpriced shit she was given.
Because leather dresses and white suits for a newborn make total fucking sense.