It was literally the most shocking thing that any American had ever seen in their entire lives – Justin Timberlake was duetting with Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl and Janet Jackson's mostly-covered tit flopped out.
In many ways, Janet Jackson's Super Bowl Nipplegate wardrobe malfunction was the end of popular entertainment, because there is genuinely no way that you can top seeing part of a 38-year-old woman's boob on a screen for a millisecond. But maybe – just maybe – Janet Jackson has something planned to better even Nipplegate; it's rumoured that Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson are planning a big surprise reunion of some sort.
At the precise moment that Janet Jackson's breast became partly visible during the Super Bowl halftime show, everything changed. Eyeballs and brains exploded across America as people – many of whom have presumably seen a naked person before, even it was only themselves in a mirror – caught a glimpse of Janet Jackson's bazzer. News outlets were so thoroughly disgusted with the sight of Janet Jackson's breast that they had to print all kinds of pictures and show the clip thousands and thousands of times just to show how disgusted they were.
The Super Bowl never really recovered. Instead of sexy girls dancing around at halftime, it instead chose to show a handful of decrepit old men playing traditional tunes from long ago to fill the time. Janet Jackson never really got over being called 'that Super Bowl woman with the tits' and instead try to divert attention to her non-existent teenage daughter and dodgy album sleeve competitions before realising that the only way she can sell records is with her knockers. Not even Justin Timberlake – who did pull down Janet Jackson's top, to be fair – hasn't escaped from Nipplegate scot-free; he's had to resort to slagging off reality TV stars and thinking up crap single names to stay as famous as he is.
But that doesn't matter, because it's rumoured that Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake are going to make a high-profile post-Nipplegate reunion, according to Page Six:
Insiders in Jackson's camp said she is in talks with Timberlake's people to appear together in "some sort of big, live show like the Grammys or the Oscars" as the ultimate publicity stunt… A reunion "will help re-boost the sales of their albums," our source added. Jackson just came out with "20 Y.O." and Timberlake with "FutureSex/LoveSounds." Spokespeople for both singers denied any knowledge of a reunion.
It's weird to think that Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson would want to visit their most ridiculous moment, as they've both spent two years trying to put Nipplegate – incidentally, why is it called Nipplegate? You didn't even get to see any nipples. Giant Pierced Metal Dustbin Lid-gate would be closer – behind them. And anyway, without any boobies, a Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson reunion would just be two boring singers singing a song. And even if they were to repeat Nipplegate, it'd be nothing we hadn't already seen before. The only way that Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson would be able to justify such a big profile appearance is by having Janet Jackson get her minge out in the middle eight – and that's something that nobody wants to see.
[story by Stuart Heritage]