Anyone miss Justin Timberlake when he wasn't around? Anyone? No? Well, prepare to be underwhelmed – Justin Timberlake is back! And this time he'll be ripping off the Black Eyed Peas and not Michael Jackson!
Needless to say, we've yet to hear the squeaky-voice, pube-haired former boyband muppet's comeback song, but if the track titles are anything to go by, it'll be insanely innovative. Justin Timberlake, you see, has just discovered the joy of compounding words. So that's why the new Justin Timberlake album is to be called FutureSex/LoveSounds, with the new single being the preposterously titled SexyBack.
A few years ago, you couldn't move for Justin Timberlake literally crying rivers out of his eyes and making albums out of Michael Jackson castoff songs and dancing like a girl in a room full of spiders. And then… nothing. The much-heralded Timberlake acting career flipped off the rails after his performance in upcoming film Edison was widely considered to be "rubbish" and it was claimed that he almost didn't get a job on Shrek 3 because of his ludicrously girly voice.
So, with that career avenue blocked off by the bollards of common sense, Justin Timberlake is returning to what he's best at he does most of – making squeaky pop music for confused tweenage girls to cry and scream at. And that starts off with SexyBack, which radio stations will premiere on July 7. God knows what a SexyBack is – the smart money's on it being a sexy piggyback – but it was written and produced by Justin Timberlake, Timbaland and Nate Hills. And that's all we know.
Following SexyBack, Justin Timberlake will release the album FutureSex/LoveSounds, which we can only imagine is about the sound a sexy lady robot makes when you have it off with her in the future. Or something. FutureSex/LoveSounds is produced by the SexyBack lot, with extra help from Rick Rubin and Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas, who's so bewildered by Timberlake's latest musical direction that he can't even speak:
"I can't explain it, that's how dope it is. He just surprised me again. I was surprised that I was even going to like Justin Timberlake. Then he turned me into a fan, and I've become a fan. That means you are so talented that you are changing people's vocabulary."
Look at you, fancy Justin Timberlake changing people's vocabulary with your fancy compound words. We're so impressed with this particular comeback that we're getting in on the act too. PubeHairedTwat. See, it's easy.
Read more:
Justin Hot For 'FutureSex' – E! Online
[story by Stuart Heritage]
pop poet says
Sounds like he’ll be ripping off Prince this time around: LoveSounds + SexyBack = Lovesexy.
Anyway I was inspired to write a poem in anticipation of his dope new tunes about rumpo:
http://popstarpoetry.blogspot.com/2006/06/justins-sexybreakfast.html
Ish says
I accidentally stumbled upon this website through Google but now that I have I have a question for you: Can you sing? I hate people always criticizing other people’s work and can’t do anything for themselves (which you seem to provide examples of right here on this page)!
D says
Looks like you were wrong, it just ended up being one of the better pop albums ever.