Justin Timberlake Is Bringing Vanity Record Labels Back
May 30th, 2007 at 15:30 by Stuart Heritage
Anyone who has ever listened to even a millisecond of Justin Timberlake music knows that Justin Timberlake is the undisputed king of pube-haired blippy R&B music, and now it's time for Timberland to share the wealth with his own record label.
Tennman Records is the name of the record label that Justin Timberlake has started with Interscope, and it's hoped that the soon-to-be unveiled Tennman Records roster will be a beacon for the world's most talented artists who make Justin Timberlake-produced blippy R&B songs containing enough gaps in the middle for Justin Timberlake to do his girly squealing guest-vocal shtick in and don't mind that Justin Timberlake hogs every one of their music videos like some kind of squeaky-voiced, pube-haired attention whore all the time.
Life must be tough when you're as successful as Justin Timberlake. All the goals you've set yourself have been attained and even the ridiculous ones you just made up to pass the time - bring sexy back? Check. Enrage the woman from A Life Less Ordinary? Check. Impress one of the world's most beautiful women with a date at Nando's? Sadly, check - are being seen through with ridiculous ease.
So what's left for Justin Timberlake now that he has everything he could ever wish for? Thankfully, Justin's brief infatuation with designing rubbish clothes seems to have passed - leaving him to concentrate on what he does best. Well, OK, not best. Most frequently. Anyway, we're talking about music.
Justin Timberlake has always been keen to help out other artists, like the Black Eyed Peas, Nelly Furtardo, Timbaland and - just to shut everyone up for a second - Britney Spears. But now Justin Timberlake is turning his interest legitimate with Tennman Records, a new vanity project record label that Justin has set up with Interscope. There have been plenty of quotes about Tennman from all sorts of record executives, but they're all full of identical backslappy business-speak so we won't print them. Instead, here's what Justin Timberlake has to say on the matter:
“We are all excited about the talent we have to offer already on our roster, and I cannot wait to introduce the world to my new discoveries.”
Not that we can see how Justin Timberlake will be able to commit too much time to Tennman Records though - he's also apparently busy producing tracks for Madonna's next album, looking to star in more rubbish films that nobody watches and performing any number of attention-seeking award-show duets and children's award hosting that he can get his hands on.
Best of luck to Justin Timberlake and Tennman Records, and we look forward to hearing the label's first release - a song called Justin's Bringing Sexy Back by The Dynamite Justin Timberlake Majorette All-Star Squadron (Featuring Justin Timberlake).
Read more:
Timberlake Launching Own Record Label - MSNBC
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May 30th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
Gosh someone sounds obsessively jealous, Justin has huge talent anyone who is given the oportunity to work with him should jump at the chance. He does not “hog” anything. This article is ridiculously WRONG!!!!
May 30th, 2007 at 4:26 pm
I agree with Jess. This article sounds like a jealous person who hates to
see Justin as successful as he is. If his stuff is such “rubbish”, why is
everyone buying his album and why are so many artist using his talent on
their records?
Stop hating and get a pen and a pad. You might learn something. Justin is
talented so get over yourself. He can sing, act, write, produce, dance….hell,
he can do whatever the hell he sets his mind to. That’s call talent sweetie,
not rubbish.
May 30th, 2007 at 6:52 pm
I also agree….justin is talented and your wasting so much time making fun of him that it shows your very jealous…he’s an amazing talent and he wants to help others show their talents to the world…i haven’t seen him hog anything and i’m sure he wont be in anything that his artists dont want him to be him!
May 31st, 2007 at 7:44 am
Anytime someone is talented, there will be somebody jealous. At least, JT has a good head on his shoulders. He’s talented, and he knows it. Good for him.
May 31st, 2007 at 4:05 pm
“If his stuff is such “rubbish”, why is everyone buying his album and why are so many artist using his talent on their records?”
Because eight out of every ten people are fucking stupid, that is why.
June 5th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
Everyone is buying his records? You mean small children and silly teenage girsl. I would be most worried if any lads bought anything by him. The article is not
about jealousy but a piss take of an annoyingly squeaky voiced pop puppet.