They’ve decided that he is a snappier dressier than people like Gordon Brown and Dave, our local butcher. Who are they to save that bloodstained overalls ain’t happening threads to be popping?
There’s been zero activity on the solo front from Justin Timberlake of late, which means one of the following things: he’s either a) plotting more ropey collaborations with Madonna, b) locked away in the studio or c) trying to get *NSYNC back together. But that doesn’t matter for now! Because now he can officially wear his pants better than you.
The chance of Justin Timberlake shopping in your local branch of Primark or H&M is equivalent to the chance of seeing a real celebrity appear on Dancing On Ice. Still, we hope that one day we’ll see Justin throwing a strop in Top Man as he can’t find a pair of lime green comedy boxer shorts with electric blue stitching.
So what makes Justin better at wearing clothes then everyone else? Can he actually iron his jeans properly, or is it because he’s never mixed his soft and delicate items? We’re terrible for doing that. Instead, it’s because GQ says:
“The star was praised for his impact on fashion and “knack for targeting trends” such as hats, three-piece suits, skinny ties and beards.”
“Knack for targeting trends.” Um, shouldn’t that really say “wearing what my stylist tells me so I don’t end up looking like a tramp?” We particularly like his supposed use of facial fluff. Unless he can wire a set of neon lights through it that flash red when he’s angry and blue when he’s sad, we’ll always believe that the beard of Stuart Heritage was the best to ever grace a chin.
But if Justin Timberlake won the best-dressed award, who are the other nine nominees left shaking their fists for not coming first? The top ten was made up amongst others:
“Music producer Mark Ronson took the number two spot and photographer Alexi Lubomirski made third on the list. Rappers Kanye West and TI also featured alongside actor Jason Schwartzman.”
Because everything makes Kanye West angry we’ll no doubt see some sort of ranty blog in capital letters that will look something like this:
“WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW YOU MEAN I AIN’T LOOKING FLY 365 DAYS A YEAR? YOU SEE THIS SHIRT I’M WEARING! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I PAY FOR THIS? THIS BE A ONE OF A KIND LIMITED EDITION ITEM THAT’S ENCRUSTED WITH PUBIC HAIR. WHERE MY PEOPLE AT? SUPPORT ME IN MY HOUR OF NEED.”
Pop down the local high street and it’ll no doubt be full of people copying the look of someone who’s trying to copy Michael Jackson. Sales of fake facial hair will no doubt rocket as everyone goes for a Timberlake look. The girls will love it.