A few years ago The Darkness were one of the biggest bands in the country, which is strange because ironic hair metal fronted by a spandex-clad rat-faced idiot was never something we thought anyone particularly wanted to see.
However, all good things must come to an end. And some crap things like The Darkness, too. Almost exactly a year since The Darkness released their second album – and almost exactly 11 months, three weeks and six days since they realised that most people would rather take a potato peeler to their eyes than actually buy it – The Darkness lead singer Justin Hawkins has quit the band, blaming it on the fact that he's spent £150,000 on drugs over the last three years. Good job that Justin Hawkins only ever wrote one semi-decent song, then, if that's where all the royalties were going.
If there's one thing we thought we'd never see ourselves doing ever, it's siding with Jon Bon Jovi about anything. However – grudging – we'll admit that Jon Bon Jovi had a point when he said he didn't like The Darkness. No, we've gone too far. We'll come back and finish this article off once we've rolled around a room littered with broken glass, dogshit and mousetraps as punishment for thinking such terrible thoughts…
…OK, that's us taught. So anyway, Justin Hawkins from awful 1980s throwback joke band The Darkness has left the group, because apparently writing tedious knob jokes and setting them to bad ironic heavy metal tunes that won't sell any copies is bad for his drug rehabilitation. Here's what Justin Hawkins says on the matter:
"I hit absolute rock bottom. I spent over £150,000 on cocaine in three years – a frightening amount. I was consuming up to five grams a day which cost me £1,000 a week, sometimes more. I regularly used to stay up for four days at a time on coke and alcohol binges. I feel like I've lost three years of my life. I'm only just coming to terms with what has happened because I was always off my face. I feel bad for the others. It will be an upheaval. But it's time to move on. It would be damaging to stay on. I'm not blaming the band for my problem. I'm an addict."
Wow – Justin Hawkins from The Darkness was on drugs? Who'd have thought that calling every other British band crap despite being in a joke band yourself and then buggering your body up by falling off a big doughnut was the work of a drug-ravaged lunatic, eh? But look at the headline again; just because Justin Hawkins is leaving the band, it doesn't mean that The Darkness are splitting up. In fact, the members of The Darkness that aren't Justin Hawkins – Justin Hawkins' brother, the bald bassist that isn't as good as the old one with the funny moustache and whoever plays the drums – have released this statement about Justin Hawkins leaving the band:
"We're sorry that you had to find this out through the newspapers, but we were hoping until the last minute that this – Justin's exit – wasn't going to happen. We – Dan, Ed and Richie – are still in total shock and can't say at this stage what the future holds. You will hear from us, once we know what we want to do."
Well, either when they know what they want to do or when you decide you next want a Big Mac. So now that's both The Darkness and Keane that have been ravaged by drugs in recent months. Anyone else hoping that Razorlight will be next?
Read more:
[story by Stuart Heritage]
your friendly neighborhood musician says
you are a verbose clown. music is entertainment. these guys are entertainers. i don’t even have to ask to know that you are tone deaf and can’t play an instrument. in life there are two types of people: those who create, and those who talk about it…and talk is cheap.
–your friendly neighborhood musician.
Jay says
The author of this acticle is a idiot.
Your a Moron. says
Listen, Your probably Just some 30-50 Year old Hack who knows nothing of The Darkness and what They’ve accomplished, It’s not Justin’s Fault the band Is over, It’s his addiction’s Fault. He is not a “Lunatic” He is pure genious, Same with Dan, Ed, And Frankie. They’ve made British Rock Music Much more entertaining Since The Clash, The Ramones, Etc… I agree with him ^ Once you learn to play an Instrument, Such as Guitar or Bass or Drums, As Good As this band has, Don’t Critisize Them…
Harry says
shut up, idiot. you don’t know anything. “the bald bassist that isn’t as good as the old one with the funny moustache and whoever plays the drums.”. Jesus aren’t you clever? proves how much you know about the darkness. Until you can come up with better tunes than Justin, become hugely famous and be one of the greatest damn singers and entertainers ever, SHUT UP.
i agree with everyone else who has commented on this pathetic piece of writing.
Nikki says
I’m deeply saddened by Justin leaving the Darkness!! I’m a huge fan and people are still hitting them up and watching their videos on youtube.com! For those of us who like to rock still, The darkness was a refreshing taste of past and present. So Justin get sober get back with the band, make another smash hit don’t forget to be absolutely naked in your video and come on tour in The United States, make sure to come to Minneapolis MN where I’ll be waiting to see you guys perform!!! Love always Nikki
me says
the guy who wrote this is an ass!
Dan says
FUCK YOU YOU PIECE OF SHIT THE DARKNESS ROCK
FUCK YOU ALL YOU FUCKING CUNTS
OMFG ASSHOLES
David says
What the!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Darkness are not “a spandex-clad rat-faced idiot” you bias retards!
Ths guy is clearly expressing this/her opinion which is not worth listening to.
This idiot needs some spanking himself. How dare this Trash mock The Darkness!
You worthless piece of cow dung!
Ian says
Who ever wrote this article is a dumb shit… Justin made more money in three years in the Darkness then this guy will make in his entire life writing crappy articles that slam good bands.
davidabailey says
Not exactly A.A Gill are you?
Back to school with you little boy.
Jessee says
I LOVE The Darkness and Justin Hawkins. So sorry they broke up! I haven’t loved a band this much in years! So don’t say anything bad about them! And to side with bon jovi? Hmmm, when was the last time jon had Anything good going on? I think bon jovi’s just envious of Justin! I think you are too! Justin Hawkins ROXX and his band did too! Justin is Beyond reproach! Whenever anything says anything bad about someone I love, I just consider the source! DUMBASS!
Ben Morrison says
dear god could u be any more wrong u jackass…. seriously, not only are darkness amazin so is bonjovi!
dave-o says
who ever wrote this is a piece of shit, i saw the darkness twice and both shows were the most entertaining ones ive been to. justin is a les paul weilding rock god that can sing like an eagle. i would love to fight you, your a fuckin cunt. i bet you got picked on in high school and never got any pussy so now you take it out on other poeple, fuckin wanka
Wizz says
Seems to me Mr Heritage (If that’s your real name)you are an ‘expert’ on insults. Maybe you get a high on insulting others. Sure we will laugh and joke about the ‘Britains Got Talent’ failures who will get nowhere in the business
Wizz says
But at least ‘The Darkness’ got somewhere and are perhaps more known than you are. (Sorry ’bout the error…
Ray says
The Darkness fucking rocked, okay? Maybe whoever wrote this is an rat(ass)face and had nothing better to do than insult other people for being more talented.
Yeah, it’s kinda late for this comment, but I just found this crap and its a piss off to anyone who actually enjoys music.
Stuart Heritage says
Hi,
I wrote this article and realise that I’m a total Knob, I see it ever morning in the mirror! I’m the biggest tool going and man I’m a loser, I’m still a virgin and get rejected by ugly girl when I try to pick up, I still live with my mum, I’m 47 years old. The truth is I love barry manilow and have never heard any other band. Apologies to all, I have since realised that the Darkness were the greatest and that I’m the worlds stupidest guy, I’ve asked to be fired from my job so I can go sell the big issue.
Peace
Stuart Heritage
gir says
Well, I’m convinced that that was the real Stuart Heritage.
euclid says
switch out The Darkness for The Dimness
and it all fits…
K. says
Well, actually it is just your opinion expressed in this piece of writing, but while I was reading it I was wondering what YOU exactly achieved in the music industry, how many of your sigles were on the top of charts and how many fans you’ve got – cause sounds like you did nothing. Actually after I read that I started to wonder if you had any friends at all, but it’s none of my bussiness. However I can’t imagine hanging out with anyone who’s such a jerk.
And no doubt, while you wrote “spandex-clad rat-faced idiot” piece you were staring at the mirror, weren’t you?
anyway, my advice is to be more objective while writing anything published later on on the internet and more considerate of what other people think and feel, as everything you wrote was way unfair and very, very not nice to read. In case you didn’t know there are ways to express own opinions without insulting other people, and if I were you, I’ll try that.
You’ll better get busy with own life, which is probably way miserable, if you have to write crap like this.
I feel really, really sorry for you. Hope you’ll get better one day.
Weeksy says
Stuart Heritage – You’re a cock
enough said
riquelle weaver says
what the fuck you cocksucker?! the darkness fucking rocks and you need to get that through your mind you arrogant bitch…what the fuck would possess you to write that? fuck you mister. >:(
"Oh look At me I'm STUART! NOW READ YOU FUCKTARDS!!!" says
“Wow – Justin Hawkins from The Darkness was on drugs?”
Yes… he just said he was….
Who the hell is Stuart Heritage? 3 years after he wrote this article… still has no one agreed with him. Shows how much he is
“with it” as he talks about not being “with it”. And I guess he has not taken to be very popular in writing articles based on a music community that he does not understand.
Yeah its 3 years later…
But its hard to read such an uninspiring article, even 3 years after its written, and not feel the need to tell him to go fuck himself… and tell him not come back until he realizes why…
a community…
in which he tried to write for…
has told him to go fuck himself….
3 years later…
no reply… probably still fucking himself i guess.
TheSnake says
One of the most ignorant and pathetic articles I have ever read. Justin Hawkins is soo talented it’s mind-blowing. In my opinion, he’s should have been QUEEN’s new frontman! Amazing voice!
John Willaford says
I’m reading this article years later and, yes, you are the joke.
That man has the best voice and on stage presence since Freddie Mercury.
Call Freddie a joke and all of Europe and most of Asia will tear you to pieces.
There was no joke to this band. I heard him and that band and i could only feel tremendous happiness. Everyone feels we wouldn’t see the like of Freddie Mercury again in our lifetimes, and, Justin is Justin, but the first impression was that they JUST WERE who they were, even if it seemed as if they might be channeling the living spirit of Queen.
I would like to see them come back together. He’d make more than enough money to have a roadie who also happens to be a drug counciler personal assistant to come with him.
I’m gonna go look up how he’s doing right now.
John Willaford says
wow, didn’t even read your comment, but, read below to see we think alike. we must be INTELLIGENT PEOPLE, unlike this bastard.
jeff says
whoa, someone needs to get laid.
Russ says
yes, I couldn’t agree more. The Darkness brought back whats been missing from rock for a long time.
What a friggin’ ass! Obviously someone who is completely ignorant about drug addiction! In my opinion there is only one thing worse than an ignorant ass hole….and that’s an ignorant ass hole that gives somebody a hard time because they’ve got a drug problem and they’re trying to get clean even if it means sacrificing what you love to do because it causes to much temptation….case in point, Justin leaving his band so he could stay away from coke.
Whoever wrote this article…in my opinion, is the lowest form of shit!
nick from aus says
far out has this prick ever actually listened to a darkness track??
as other people have mentioned, justin is practically freddie re-incarnated, he even looks heaps like him, especially in the vid for ‘is it just me’
i’ve never seen a bad article bout the darkness like this untill now,i hope this website fires this guy, he clearly has the iq of a chimpanzee. i bet this pricks fav band is the spice girls and loves twilight.
Seriously one of the biggest wishes i have is for the darkness to get back together, if they did no joke i would be saving to go see them asap, i live in australia so it’d cost a bit.
Anyways, on that topic, i heard that some rich bitch in america is trying to pay the darkness a small fortune to get back together.
Robyn says
After all of those comments, I feel the need to raise my hand and say that I for one agree entirely with the article! It’s been three years and . . . oh . . . the Darkness have disappeared off the face of the earth. Meanwhile, Stuart is still writing! I think that says it all, don’t you?!
The comments on this article are hilarious in their attempted ferociousness. Some people need to get out a bit, I suspect. Try switching off the computer, climbing out from under your Justin Hawkins bedcovers and emerging blinking into the harsh light of day. Oh, and don’t use that old chestnut of “how many number one records have YOU written, eh?” as a comeback. I mean, how do you know what anyone else has done with their lives? Stuart is quite clearly a successful journalist and that is, quite frankly, more than enough. Are you seriously suggesting that only chart-topping musicians are allowed to comment on or form an opinion of other bands?
Zerrhour UK jamie says
to the above comment, the darkness have dissapeared, yes, because they split up, uuh! But not any of the members, justins new band, Hot Leg are the most awsome new band of man rock on this or any other planet, i have seen them and they put on a great show, and justin was really nice and came out to see everyone at the end and hes a very nice guy so why don’t you, mr hemeroid, stop writing daft articles. Voice you’re opinion, yes, but this is just plain unnessesary slagging off, and about people apparently just sitting at the computer with no social life etc, i am a 15 year old with friends, and bandmates as i am in a band so i know a bit about the popular music scene from now back to the time of queen, aerosmith and all the good old music. Oh and my band doesn’t suck jusy before you accuse me of being a stupid teen with unrealistic dreams.
http://Www.myspace.com/zerohouruk – check us out, the site could do with some updating, mind. Rock on justin! Wooo!!
jonny says
you guys are all wrong, DRUGS are not the problem, drugs are brilliant,
John says
Wow, This article really shows his lack of intelligence and music knowledge! The Darkness was one of the bands that started the new rock revolution! They paved the way for many other ROCK bands to emerge from this sampled, computerized, depressing, crap that has been forced down our throat for the last 15 or so years! They wrote and performed their own songs, which most people don’t do now days, and did it tremendously well! I am just getting tired of crap like Kings of Leon, Coldplay, that is NOT rock it is alternative and crappy alternative at that! There are so many other bands out there now who can’t perform live, they release the same album 3 times, (just “remixed”), and put out an album every year like clockwork. The Darkness actually put effort into their album and gave us something to look forward to and did not flood the industry with shit. Rock needed to drop it’s balls again and they were the right band to do it with heart and energy. So he had a drug problem, you know what that means…he’s a human being. Everybody has faults! I can’t imagine how bad your drug problem is to write an ignorant article like that and expect REAL music lovers to tear you a new asshole! Go back to your smashing pumpkins and staind man, garbage people deserve garbage music! Remember, just because it’s popular does not mean it’s good. Got to hell english boy, run home to “mum” and brush your teeth.
John says
It’s good to see that you are coming to your senses and realizing what a waste of sperm you are and that your opinion is shit, and all these fans agree!
John says
One last thing, to everybody reading! The Darkness is not dead, the three remaining members went on to recruit a new bassist and put the former on vocals and came out with Stone Gods whos first album was fuckin’ awseome with a second on the way! Second Justin has formed a new band called Hot Leg who also has their first album on the way. I can’t wait!
wanttodoJhawkins says
well u dumb dirty piece of retarded melted microwaved ass flavoured ShiTT, i would love to hear more of your shhit TTT but it seems ur ruude crapp, blocked my ears full of unsensored dirty thoughts of me strangling u in ur sleep….Now The darkness Is and IS always going to be FUCKING SMACK DADDY AWSUMMMM untill u realise this go sit in a corner and CRYYYYYYYY CRYY I TELL U CRYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
i would so much like to do Justin and well atleast J H has somewon to love and want to make with him,,,and i do believe that u could ither b a virgin or a filthy hairy no muscle bald prick who made with a transvestie. well ur a loser and i bet u have small one(if u no wat i mean) The darkness is the hotest band and so is stonegods and hotleg and i feel sorry 4 u because u r a very very sad person with nothing to do but make others feel bad to make u feel better..be disgusted !!!
xxiloveuJH and DH and well the darkness
ps. screw u Heritage man .
wanttodoJhawkins says
it seems that u, Robyn, have no idea about music u probably think that being successful is all about sucking up to the ones above u , stressing and studying to become a shitty acountnt or mybe a successful polititian that everybody h8s but u think love you, welland im guessing u probly listen to boring music that hits top chart 4 a day, but then unregognised a month later..the Darkness is a significant band..
and if we need to switch off our computers ur also (add to the list) a hipocrit u probly spend ur day trying to find articles that take the shitt out of good things and u type ur unsensitive rude little comments on how right ur lover the journalist is
… i bet u have never listened a darkness song through and understood the music heard the guitar solo heaven the old rock everyone loves..
and so here you wait 4 someone to reply (me) so that u can write back ur sad slum that makes u a boring skidmark on the face of the earth
jee am i rite ???
i think and so will all the other Music lovers, agree that i am!
thanks 4 ur unworthy comments
find something better to do.
NorwegianRocker says
It’s getting close to christmas, and I’m listening to The Darkness’ awesome “Christmas Time” every bloody day! And I know I will continue this “tradition” for a looooong time :)
They are not (and will never be) gone for those who like this kind of light-hearted and downright FUN rock n’ roll!
This Stuart Heritage, who ever the fuck he is, is just trying to get angry reactions from us to get hits on his website. Incredibly cringeworthy and unprofessional writing.
The Darkness and Justin Hawkins will be remembered for a long time. You, Mr. Heritage, will not.
rtht says
The author of this is a complete raging faggot. A quick look at some of his other articles shows that he has absolutely nothing interesting to write about. What a piece of shit. Have fun listening to Nickelback and other horse shit that’s pumped over radios 24/7.
Shithead.
Kelly says
Justin Hawkins is fabulous. You, dear author, are the idiot.
Tom says
Stuart Heritage…you are a knob. I have gone through more of your reviews & you come across as some bored, spoilt very negative knit-wit with no constructive skills needed for these reviews.
Go and find a job you might be good at, ‘cos all you write is kak.
Go Justin!
Zara says
What the fuck are you on about? They were one of the only good bands in existance since the 80’s. The vast majority of music from the 90’s and noughties was absolute shit. The darkness were a breath of fresh air from all the corporate, polished shit most artists are producing.
There music did sell in the millions, and they were the most popular UK band at their time because they were fun, silly sometimes but still msuical geniuses and people fucking loved it. Justin is a gr8 front man, dan is an incredible guitarist, richie is an immense bassist/guitarist/singer (stone gods)and is not sub-standard to frankie. And ed is a bloody brilliant drummer.
Your article shows such lack of knowledge about; music, popular culture, the time we live in, addiction and such poor judgement that i cannot believe you would call yourself a journalist. YOU STUPID LITTLE FUCK WIT!!!!!!!!!!
Geoff says
The darkness are/were SHIT, without the musical integrity of Kelly Clarkson! JH has his problems, fair enough, but aside from all that is also a bit of a cock. Good riddance to both!
Cameron says
AT least they got somewhere unlike you. Your a shit journalist!!
Mike says
I am a huge darkness fan. It sucked to see the band split. I’m also a guitarist and I particularly loved the sound of Justins solos. He was a king of the strings. Rather than leave the band in the dust he should have gotten help and not gave up. Cocaine is a hell of a drug, but he shouldn’t have let it dictate his life and ultimately the bands fate. Justins new band, hot leg, is not nearly as good. To me, Justin went down the wrong path. He got some sweet new tatts though. Justin, lose the eye shadow, take off that fucking finger nail polish, and get back to what you do best…fucking rock!
c0br025 says
atleast justin admitted he had a problem and didnt blame the band, and who doesnt , no one is perfect in life no matter who you are or who tries to act like they are.. it take a big man/woman to admit they have a problem and a even bigger one not to blame it on something else or someone else.. and the darkness was a great band that made something of themselves, say things about them all you want, they still made more of themselves then you ever will, i dont know how you got on here writing for this website, but i think they need a “journalist wanted” ad somewheres soon because your a joke
Johnny Forrest says
I’m afraid you’re all wrong; The Darkness were fucking shit. I remember them being feted by certain try too hards; the sort with ‘tatts’, a second class art degree and an ‘Anthrax’ t-shirt. The Darkness had a novelty hit, which, as far as I can recall, featured some rat faced cunt singing falsetto. He had a magic tiger, too, I think.
And that’s all there is to it, fellows….
Bailey says
2010 Update for Stuart Heritage — everyone here hates you and your article & Justin Hawkins has a new band. So… you suck.
Cynthia English Garden Nunnally-Olsen says
I have Dinner Lady Arms and I want to make a movie and/or something with Mr. Justin Hawkins as I have another story to tell. He and the other band members are the best thing to hit the airwaves since U2. Of course other bands had great songs. I just want to have the opportunity to reach him to discuss some ideas I have involving music I inherited. I am in the US on EST time 571-323-8163.
Cynthia English Garden Nunnally-Olsen says
As I just wrote, I want Mr. Hawkins to help me with songs I inherited. I am sick of having people saying he is using a falsetto. I’ve sung for four US presidents, so I know of which I am speaking. I can be reached US EST 10a.m. – 5 p.m. 571-323-8163
Please, someone, make sure he gets this.
None of Your Fucking Business says
The Darkness are different which is the best thing in music. It’s always RNB this, Pop music that, wannabe rockstars that are total fucking wankers. These guys know what rock music is all about and there should be more bands like them. Music needs character like this, it’s too dull and shit now.
I love how this guy thinks hes a fucking great reviewer, thinks he can talk the shit, when really is just total shit. No one likes bloggers and reviewers because they talk total bollocks, so why don’t you get a real fucking job Mr. Heritage
Hecklerspray says
He works for The Guardian. That’s pretty much as real as it gets.
Carl Jenisch says
This is the worst article I have read about a band ever
lucas says
Hey writer, check this a second if you care about this website and the proper use of
informing:
–> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwL9Fj7EDAk <–
Now who's incapable of recovering and kickin ass again?
Cheers, another Lovely Musician neighbour..
Jan says
Wow, whoever wrote this went a bit overboard me-thinks on being hateful/sarcastic/all-round unpleasant personality.
The Darkness were refreshing. Justin’s voice is under-rated. And they’re back. : )
Jan says
OK…………i get it now, i just came out of a ketamine and ecstasy induced coma, i shouldnt have written that.
my ass is sore and there are used rubbers everywhere, what the fuck happened.
Chris says
GO LISTEN TO THE SMITHS AND JOY DIVISION WHILE WEARING YOUR IRONIC KISS T SHIRT. LEAVE TRUE ROCK AND ROLL ALONE!