Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Need to Just Stop


Justin Bieber and Selana Gomez might be a stupid freakin thing again, because they hate me, they hate themselves, and they hate the world. Not to be a stereotypical white girl, but I just can’t with this shit right now. Not ever.

The 20-year-old born-again Christian that is Biebs (that sentence made me want to punch baby Jesus in his non-developed nads), and fucking idiot of the century, Selena, have apparently started dating again. Bieber even posted the above picture on Instagram, and then, in classic Bieber form, deleted it.

OKAY, so let’s break this down, shall we?

1) I don’t even fully believe that it’s Selena in that pic. Bieber likes dark haired bitches with tans. That could be a Jenner girl or a South American prostitute or me for all I fucking know (I dyed my hair last week, so who even knows. I’m terrible for blacking out when I drink, maybe I got a pic with Bieber?)

2) If it is Selena, she clearly needs to go back to rehab, because the only excuse for her going back with Bieber is if she’s on the bad shit. Apparently you can fight Orlando Bloom and throw your dick to everyone with the last name Jenner, and Selena will give none of the fucks as long as you’ve got good weed, am I right?

Or maybe Selena is just capital D delusional and thinks Biebs spoiled, bratty ass will eventually change?


3) These two assholes are going to Bible study together again and the above snap was allegedly taken after a class last Wednesday night. Bitch, there is a REASON Demi Lovato unfriended your ass. Apparently you cannot pray the stupid away.

At the end of the day, I don’t know who the bigger idiot here is: them for getting back together for the millionth time, or me for constantly writing about both of their asses. Either way: