There has to be a reason for this. Our guess? That she’ll stop existing if people stop talking about her.
It’s Kim Kardashian. She’s been frolicking again. Fortunately for those of us with eyes and adequately functioning nervous systems, this time she’s been frolicking with her clothes on. But unfortunately for those of us with eyes and adequately functioning gag reflexes, she’s been frolicking with Justin Bieber. In the sea, for the love of God. In the sea.
But, as we said, there has to be a reason for this. Maybe Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian really are friends, or maybe it’s all for publicity, or maybe Kim Kardashian just likes hanging out with teenage boys who’ll almost definitely start masturbating the instant she breaks eye contact with them. Perhaps we’ll never know.
Ask yourself this – is there ever a greater love than that between a squeaking 16-year-old boy and a woman who’ll be 30 in a few months? Of course there isn’t. And that’s why the world has fallen so heavily for Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian. They’re just so adorable – him with his bright eyes and rosy apple cheeks, and her with her history of uncomfortably graphic sexual intercourse. It’s probably – no, it’s definitely – the greatest love story ever told.
And forget all that nonsense about Justin Bieber’s fans wanting to kill Kim Kardashian. They’re all just little girls. Kim Kardashian is much older than them. Much older. She’s almost 30, for crying out loud – that’s close to twice Justin Bieber’s age. She’s much, much, much, MUCH older than Justin Bieber or any of his fans. So, um, she’d probably beat them in a fight. That was our point. That or how comparatively old she is. One or the other.
Anyway, it looks like Justin and Kim have cemented their relationship by having a romantic stroll in the sea, hand in hand. People reports:
The teen pop sensation?posted a photo Sunday of himself with the reality-TV star ? with her holding a flower ? taken on the beach during a photo shoot at the Atlantis Resort in The Bahamas. Photoshoot on the beach … ummmm yeah. I told her to watch out … I love my fans,” Bieber, 16,?wrote on Twitter.
You know what? It’d be easy to be cynical here. So we won’t do that. In fact, we wish Justin Bieber and Kim Kardashian every happiness. Or at least a piss-weak reality show about the two of them, which is what Kardashian is probably gunning for here if we’re honest.
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter
Aaron Churchill says
Haha, this is probably the most entertaining product of Justin Dweeber’s existence thusfar. Such a rediculous, nausiating and pathetic thing wouldn’t be an appropriate event for any other two people in the world. And you gotta love the double standard here. Everyone knows that 17 year old Miley Cyrus was clearly being exploited by that 22 year old underwear model dude. But this is completely different. The age difference is much greater and Justin Dweeber is a boy. How can you see anything wrong with this? It’s beautiful. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to constantly vomit for 9 hours.
Gordain Raindow ;] says
IF KIM K DIES ITS NOT BECUASE OF JB
ITS BECUASE SHE SLEP WITH TO MANY GUYS XD
PORE JB XL
Gordain Raindow ;] says
GIRLS SCREAM FOR JB BECUASE HE’S A FAMOSE SINGER
AND RIGHT SONGS ABOUT GIRLS SO THEY SCREAM!
XL X[
Gordain Raindow ;] says
JB+KIM THE WORLD IS FALLING NOW
KIM DONT DIMLOAD JB
Anna says
Ok… why do people joke about this??? Its cute that he has a crush on her but if she really has a relationship with him she is a sex offender!Regular people do time for less. She should stop acting like it is nothing. I am her age and think He is adorable jut she is acting like a fool and a Sicko.she needs called out.