Justin Bieber Gets Breastfed by a Stripper

dirtstacheAs if people didn’t hate Mondays already, I’m here to make your day just a little more cringe-worthy. In case you haven’t noticed, Justin Bieber is really vying for douche bag of the year, and it’s only the beginning of February. Frankly, he could probably win just based on the picture above, alone.

But no, it’s not enough for Biebs to egg houses, drunk drive, grow an ugly pre-pubescent dirt ‘stache, and do all that other dumbass shit he does. Even after his hooker scandal last year, it seems like Bieber has learned nothing, because TMZ has recently released pics of him and his BFF Lil’ Pizza Hut sucking on a strippers nipples. Warning: the following is a little NSFAWAGR (not suitable for anyone with a gag reflex).

ohgodwhyIf you’re a real masochist, or if you want to text something mean to a friend, there is a more graphic photo of Biebs suckling this strippers plastic titty online. However, we’re a classy site with morals, so we’re not going to post that shit.

TMZ got it’s hands on the pic and are saying it took place at a party Bieber threw in January. Bieber hired the strippers for the shindig, and I’m wondering how much extra he had to pay to let him bite their nips.

The only person who would understand these photos is Blossom (aka Mayim Bialik) who totally thinks it’s appropriate to breastfeed your kids until they’re school-aged, and Bieber kind of looks school-aged, I guess?

I’m beginning to think that Justin Bieber might actually be the stupidest person on the planet. He’s famous as fuck, but he seems to have no problem doing stupid shit and letting people take pictures of it.

Recently, Miley Cyrus publically gave Biebs some life advice that was actually genius (you know you’re a fucking idiot when Miley is giving you sound life and career advice):

You’ve got a lot of money – pay people to make sure you don’t get in trouble. And party at your house; buy a house and add a club to it.

Essentially, Miley is telling him to get a babysitter, and I couldn’t agree more. I hate when I agree with Miley, but sometimes things just work out that way.

At the end of the day, I just don’t fucking get Justin Bieber. Although I’m not a fan of his music, I do think the kids got talent. And as much as I hate to say it, he’s a good looking guy. He could be awesome, but instead he chooses to live his life in the mega douche lane and he just seems like he’s getting worse and worse.

First he’s banging hookers, then he’s sucking strippers titties, WHERE CAN HE EVEN GO FROM HERE?! All I know is that Selena Gomez better not take him back again, because if she does all those crotch rashes are her own fault.

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