Justin Bieber Associated With Everything Ever, Including Bill & Ted Remake And Nail Varnish

Justin Bieber is so successful that, in order to get noticed these days, you have to be linked with him in some way. Why else do you think we keep writing about this barely formed cluster of cells?

And today is no different as we continue to peddle Bieber related rubbish in the hope of appearing ‘current’, despite the fact we have never actually heard or seen Bieber. For all we know, he could be a cruel joke being played on us by you lot.

Anyway, what’s all this about nail polish and the new Bill and Ted movie?

Dolls and books about Bieber are one thing… being the host of a soon-to-be-revived MTV series? Okay. That makes sense. Going on the pull with Robert Pattinson? Uh, okay. How about Justin Bieber coming out with his own line of nail polish.

Yeah, you heard.

Apparently, Bieber has signed a deal with Nicole by OPI and he’ll have a collection called One Less Lonely Girl and each colour will be inspired by Bieber singles:

One Less Lonely Glitter (lavender)
Prized Possession Purple (grape)
Give Me The First Dance (silver)
Me + Blue (dark blue)
OMB! (bright red)
Step 2 the Beat of My Heart (heart-shaped glitter)

Honestly. Next, he’s going to put his name to a line of tampons in a line called ‘My First Menstrual Cycle’, which will see his little face on the end of each one, grinning and winking its way into tweens holes.

And he’s looking like he’s going to be everywhere, including the past, as the newlyborn is in talks to star in a new Bill and Ted movie.

Apparently, there’s going to be a remake and insiders reckon that Justin has been approached about playing the role of Ted. Sadly, they can’t find anyone to act with him at the moment.

A source says:

“Justin’s role in this project is a given but the movie is being held up by the task of finding the right kid to play Bill.”

“The producers are torn between casting an unknown as a lesser co-star and finding anther teenage actor who can share top billing with Justin.”

He’s being worked so hard because he’s got a roving erection. His mum, Pattie Mallette (no relation to Timmy), has banned him from dating after he was caught slobbering down the neck of Jasmine Villegas, who is part of his opening act, in the back of a Honda.

Classy.

“Pattie’s freaking out that she’s losing control of her boy. And she’s afraid that his obsession with girls is sapping his time and energy, and jeopardizing his music career.

“Pattie warned her son about Hollywood social climbing and told him Jasmine could be just using him to further her own career.

“But it pretty much went in one ear and out the other. When it comes to girls, Justin’s out of control.”

The little dirty bugger.

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