Imagine an adult human parading a child around at a cattle market before a bunch of other adults, all hooting a braying while vying for position, showing off photos of their own offspring in an attempt to make a pair of children have sex.
This may sound like the most distressing thing ever (or, MTV’s ‘Date My Mom’), but this is pretty much what happened when Selena Gomez go together with Justin Bieber.
Sweet Jeebus.
Everyone assumed that the tiny actress met the infant popstar via celebrity get-togethers or similar, hitting it off and sharing anecdotes about the pains of being young and famous. Bonding over the trials of growing up in the media spotlight, they soon discovered that they had a lot in common and decided to meet up again. Right?
WRONG!
Basically, Selena’s mother was contacted by Bieber’s management and between them, they all decided that Justin and Selena fancied each other and should probably lose their virginity. Because it isn’t creepy when adults do that at all.
Selena said, talking about how long she’s know Beliebooboo:
“Uh, almost, like, two years now. His manager called my mom, who’s my manager.”
And what a lovely relationship Selena has with Justin. Everyday, she wakes with the fluttering of newly arranged love and a myriad of death-threats from Beliebers.
Speaking of which:
“It’s hard. It hurts, it really does. I don’t feel like I’m doing anything wrong. I’ve been best friends with him for a very long time. It does hurt my feelings a lot but I try not to focus on it. I have a strong family and great fans.”
A strong family who are, metaphorically speaking, shoving your arse down on Bieber’s groin repeatedly.
Lovely.
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meiner says
Nothing News … Selena talked about it long ago … that Justin Bieber she wanted to meet and his manager has organized it.