Juliette Lewis is a strange lady isn’t she? She’s part actor, part singer in a rock band and, weirdest of all, not particularly attractive yet still quite fanciable. Sadly, she’s a Scientologist which means she’s dafter than a rucksack full of eye balls.
To her list of achievements, you can now add ‘injured in a hit-and-run crash’.
Yep, Lewis has been involved in an accident in Burbank, police said. So was Lewis hammered on Thetan juice behind the wheel, crashing into Scientology naysayers? Of course not. That would be ridiculous.
Lewis was in fact the passenger in the back seat of a Lincoln Town Car when a driver ran a red light, smashing into Lewis’ Scientologymobile, and then kept going. That’s according to Sgt. Sean Kelley.
The car was found not too far away, but the driver had fled the scene. OR HAD BEEN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS.
Apparently, Lewis’ ride was “completely totaled.” Who said that? Who cares? This is a site based on crowbarring jokes into scurrilous rumours if you hadn’t noticed.
Lewis’ representative said:
“[Juliette] went to the hospital to be checked out and is a bit banged up and sore but otherwise thankfully okay. She is now resting at home.”
Yeah. Resting with Scientology. If that’s possible. Okay, we’ll stop now.
Mainly because we’re likely to get some Scientology nutters following us around and sticking cameras in our faces in an attempt to make us cry all the time.
We’ve got news for you buckos! We’re already crying all the time! SO THERE.
Anyway. Juliette Lewis. She’s not dead or anything.