People cope with stress in different ways.
Take hecklerspray, for example. Whenever we’re worried about something, we just run a nice hot bath, put on a nice relaxing CD in the background, then crumble 27 nice paracetamol tablets into a nice mug of Lemsip and gulp down the lot in one go. By the time we wake up – surrounded by puke and cold bathtub water – we’ve usually forgotten all about what was bothering us in the first place.
Soul singstress Joss Stone, however, seems to have come up with another method for coping with those butterfly-in-stomach moments – namely the ‘stagger onto stage at an awards ceremony speaking in a foreign accent and generally rambling about nothing in particular’ technique.
Those of you who witnessed Joss Stone’s performance at the Brits last week – and if you missed it, ye can feast your mortal eyes on the Joss Stone weirdness – will attest to her behaviour being a bit weird to say the least.
So baffling was her conduct – talking like a 50-year-old American black woman, making incomprehensible jokes about Amy Winehouse and generally not looking like she had a clue where she was – that many have suggested that the young lady might have been a little bit tipsy-wipsy at the time. Well… either that or doped up on some, like, totally fucking awesome drugs. Man.
All suggestions which have been refuted. Joss was simply nervous, you see, and this bizarrely embarrassing sideshow act was apparently her way of coping. According to one of her spokespeople:
“She only had one drink before she went on stage as she had an early flight the next day. She’s lived in America since she was 15 but her accent becomes stronger when she’s nervous.”
Which explains everything.
Still… why the bloody hell does Joss feel the need to justify herself? At least her antics made for memorable viewing – and let’s face it, any awards shindig at which Chris Martin‘s mini-me James Morrison wins a gong is in dire need of perking up.
Maybe we should persuade other celebrities to act in a similarly wacky manner. Why don’t we invite Britney Spears along next year to present an award? She could do something crazy like break into floods of tears, shave her head then check herself immediately into rehab.
Although that’ll be so 2007 by then.
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Loiti says
Joss Stone is a moron, and her new single is rubbish. When I get nervous I lash out at Americanised yokels…
Naomi says
I think people are definitely over-reacting its only an accent!! so what if she kept walking up and down the stage, nerves affect people differently, least she wasn’t violence!! Get over it and listen to her music instead she’s so talented!!
A U.S. Fan says
That’s the problem with you pompous Brits and thinking you are above so many people. Need i remind you of The Douchess that brought you and your “holy Royal Family” shame? Duh, stupid brits making bad choices..oh yeah. Brits have no shame (ex: The Sun and other tabloids). Get over yourselves, we’ll welcome Mrs. Stone’s talent here. Hopefully, she’ll delete you judgemental people off her world tours. Seriously? A fake American accent, douch bags!