We've never paid much attention to Joss Stone here – yokels with rubbish hair shouting Aretha Franklin songs have never been our cup of tea, really – but that was before Joss Stone turned into a berserko nutjob who apparently lives on the moon.
After all, it was Joss Stone who single-handedly stole the show at The Brit Awards this year by launching into a confused monologue in a broad American accent about what Russell Brand would be like if he was discussing Robbie Williams' recent rehab stint with Amy Winehouse using only the medium of ridiculous singing – and it's looking alarmingly like Joss Stone's behaviour at The Brits wasn't a one-time thing, either. At a comeback gig in London on Tuesday night, Joss Stone was reportedly booed by the crowd after she turned up an hour late and then complained about being famous instead of singing songs.
Up until lately Joss Stone had never done anything of interest – Joss was quite good at looking after dogs and not sleeping with Jack Osbourne but not much else. Joss Stone, let's face it, was boring. And then came The Brits.
The Brits are usually pretty tedious, and this year's show looked set to be the same – scientists are still scratching their heads over why James Morrison managed to win Best British Male – until Joss Stone staggered onstage and started yammering on incomprehensibly in a pretend American accent about how rehab-bound Robbie Williams deserved "big love" and a bunch of other stuff that was couldn't be decoded by the human brain. Terrified that she was now the butt of every single joke told in the British Isles throughout the month of February, the singer's management quickly put out a statement claiming that Joss Stone's Brits meltdown was due to nerves.
If that's the case, though, Joss Stone must have been terrified at her comeback show in London on Tuesday night, because she went and did exactly the same thing. Already booed when she turned up on stage an hour later than she said she'd be, Joss Stone then went onto demonstrate exactly why she shouldn't be let out of her house unsupervised, as MTV reports:
The singer, who was in the city to play a one-off showcase of tracks from new album, 'Introducing Joss Stone', didn't explain the reason for her delay and then left the frustrated crowd bemused by a five-minute ramble about the pitfalls of fame and a giggling fit mid-way through one of her biggest hits. “The only way you can find happiness is through music and God,” she announced after breaking off amid one tune to tell everyone that regular Caribbean holidays do not a contented girl make. Then she admitted, "I thought you guys hated me but you know what, it’s not about what you wear or what colour your hair is. In fact I was going to shave it off but someone beat me to it!” The 19-year-old then cracked up three times during a rendition of 'Right To Be Wrong' – the show's finale, and one of only two past hits.
It sounds to us as though Joss Stone might be starting to believe her own hype a little, which is an upsetting thing to hear about a lank-haired teenager who sings like a goose trying to break up a fight in a pub with a Theremin. But, hey, when Joss Stone inevitably paints '666' on her head and calls herself the devil, you'll hear it here first.
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Hy says
That’s the thing about Joss Stone – she isn’t even interesting enough to call herself the devil. AND her new song sucks
Jen says
She sucks at life. She should just stop “singing” and never come back.
SoulBrother says
I hope Amy Winehouse kicks her ass in a drunken rage someday.
Shiah says
yea joss stone is a nasty ugly lil loser