What do you think of when you hear the word ‘Jordan’?

Perhaps the Islamic al-Rabadh castle of Ajlun? Or maybe the Hellenistic-Roman ruins of Gadara? How about the ancient amphitheatre that takes pride of place in the capital city Amman? Or possibly – just possibly – do you fail to think about Arabic kingdoms altogether, instead conjuring up images of a greasy perma-tanned ‘glamour model’ who retains all the sophistication of a pissed rottweiler?

Don’t worry. You’re not alone.

Jordan – real name Katie Price, or Satan to those in the know – has stamped her ugly visage so indelibly on British popular culture that she’s all too sadly inescapable. Despite this, though, we can all breathe a sigh of relief and take comfort in one small mercy: that she couldn’t possibly become any more tasteless and repulsive than she already is. Could she?

Come on, kids. We don’t really need to answer that, do we?