God bless you, Daily Star. Just when the world thought it could breathe a little easier … just when the situation in the Middle East looked like it might be making some peaceful progress … another devastating conflict has arisen. Dear Christ.

Apparently, whilst being interviewed about her upcoming wedding to turd-with-pecs Peter Andre, Jordan coldn’t help but let her simmering rivalry with fellow blonde Jodie Marsh boil to the surface. According to Jordan, poor old Jodie ’stinks’ and had ‘better start washing’ – information which she claims is from a ‘very good source.’ Prospective husband Peter was unable to comment on the feud, having been sent back to the lab for reprogramming.