Gosselin birthdays are fun. True, there’s just as much shrieking anguish as there is every other day.
But sometimes they get to wear funny hats. Yesterday marked the ninth birthdays of Gosselin twins Mady and Cara, and so Jon and Kate Gosselin decided to give them the greatest gift of all. No, not a promise to stop making Jon & Kate Plus 8. No, not a course of hypnotherapy to help them regain the childhood that their parents snatched from them. Jon and Kate gave the twins an afternoon of no fighting.
And a birthday cake that couldn’t spell their names right. Obviously.
Right now, from looking at the headlines they generate, you might think that Jon and Kate Gosselin are famous because they’re objectively the most awful people ever to walk the Earth. Which, admittedly, is a viewpoint grounded in the truth – but they’re not famous for that. Jon and Kate Gosselin are famous because they’re objectively awful people and because they’ve got an impractically large number of children.
And with all the fighting about money and public bitching and endless constant whining that’s been going on between Jon and Kate lately, it’s easy to forget the Gosselin kids. They must be going through hell at the moment, watching their parents attack each other in full view of the world like this. How they must long for the blissful, sun-dappled pre-split days where every waking moment was a joyous carefree kaleidoscope of physical assault and child exploitation investigations. It was a happier time.
However, just because Jon and Kate Gosselin have devolved into a couple of malicious, ridiculously-dressed arseholes with history’s two worst haircuts, at least they can get it together for long enough to celebrate the birthday of their twins in relative peace, as they did yesterday. Admittedly they couldn’t get it together to remember how to spell the name of their own daughter, but that’s by the by. People reports:
“I’m staying until the kids go to bed,” [Jon] said during a break in the visit. “We’re trying to be cordial for Mady and Cara.” Jon, 32, arrived at the celebration with a vanilla cake from New York’s upscale Cupcake Caf? that had his daughter’s name misspelled “Maddy” with an extra “d.”
Now, a basic misunderstanding of how to spell his own daughter’s name might suggest that Jon Gosselin is a terrible, terrible father. But it’s important to remember that he doesn’t know how to spell his own name, either. And that means he’s not a terrible father at all – just a legitimately ridiculous excuse for a human being. Which is fine, because we all sort of knew that anyway.
Anyway, maybe some good will come of Jon and Kate Gosselin coming together to celebrate the birthday of their twins like this. Maybe some of the animosity between them will lessen after they’ve been face to face. Maybe they’ll even rediscover the spark that attracted them to each other in the first place. Maybe they’ll fall in love again and make hundreds of episodes of a new show entitled Jon & Kate Plus 26, named because Kate will spend the rest of her life in a constant state of pregnancy thanks to all the red-hot lovemaking sessions that they habitually close each episode with.
No. No, we’ve gone too far. We prefer things as they are, thanks. Forget we ever said anything.
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Judy says
Why can’t you think back and remember the birth of the twins and then the desire for more children. Then remember all you went through together during the pregnancy, the birth, and after they were born?
You need to get off the TV and do what’s right for the family.
gianna carolina mata acencio says
Hola, Soy de VENEZUELA. Y realmente no me pierdo ninguno de sus episodios, y cuando puedo reviso su pagina web.. Sinceramente sus hijos son ni